I'd rather be alone than with the wrong one, like so many others my age, but I feel like if the right one was to come along, I would be ready. Heck, I just want to go on a date, seeing as I've never officially been on one. It sounds nice; getting dressed up, butterflies in your stomach, thinking about seeing that crush of yours, and just jumping into something new. I've never been one to put my heart on the line as far as guys go or one who has really cared much for the dating scene. I guess I get caught up more in the idea of a person, rather than actually getting attached or putting myself out there, trying to get to know someone. I think of them as characters in my mind, rather than getting too close, because it's probably not going to work out for me anyway. It's easier to fall for an idea, so I don't get hurt and if it doesn't work out in the end, it's a lot easier to move on (from what I've seen and heard). Plus, you can get great material out of it. Just ask most of the songwriters today! I want to believe in the best, but when that's all you've ever known, it's a habit hard to break.
I was studying last night, when I saw this article on the side of a web page (can you believe it was Spark Notes?!) that said "Why Crushes Can Be Better Than Boyfriends." Here's what they said:
- Crushes basically require you to geek out with your friends
- Your free time is yours...All yours!
- It's never as good as you think it's going to be
- You can focus on your friendships
- If you're in a relationship, you no longer get to crush on eeeeeveryone
I sound like a broken record when I say, "I'm trying to be patient and know that God has a plan," but it's true. I really am content in knowing that if nothing works out soon, like I'd hope for it to...I'm going to be okay. I know that He has someone incredibly special in mind, who is out there in this world somewhere as we speak, and I just have to keep holding onto that. My main focus should be my relationship with God, then transferring out to the university here in town, and just getting some things done for me, and then we'll see. I have plenty to keep me busy in the meantime, and that person will always be out there, when the time is right. I've been seeing that with plenty of other aspects in my life with friends and school lately. God is just telling me to slow down. I've been trying to rush through all of these phases in my life for quite some time
"I wanna be that girl, when she falls in love it's like a big deal and it's a rare thing." ♥ Taylor Swift
That's what I want most. I've never been in love, and when I finally do...I want it to be everything that all of those ridiculous songs on the radio talk about, even if the relationship breaks my heart. I want every moment to be worth the wait. I'm excited to see where God takes me in this department.
And I'll be sure to keep you guys updated every step of the way,