Blame It On My Sensitive Heart

"Perhaps we all give our hearts uncritically to those who hardly think about us in return."

T.H White

There's nothing worse than feeling alone. Actually, yes, there is! It's knowing that you have friends and still having that feeling that you're completely alone; left out.

I get this way a lot, and I guess no one's to blame really. But, I just wonder...why do people say they care if they really make no effort to stay in your life? Then, I start thinking a little deeper. I have an extremely sensitive soul. I take everything  that goes on around me to heart whether it's something I'm dealing with or not. I have to take that into consideration and the fact that my schedule is much more flexible. Basically all of my closest friends have jobs, boyfriends, a tough workload at school, and just a lot of other things that take up their time. I, on the other hand, basically only have school a couple days a week and the rest is pretty much optional for me. It just seems that I'm always the one forcing things or encouraging get together's, while getting nothing in return. Maybe I burned those bridges long ago when I didn't want to hang out, but instead wanted to stay inside my own little bubble; some could say karma.

But, then time is thrown into the equation. T-I-M-E. We make time for the things we care about most, right? When we don't, it's usually because of same lame-o excuse. I know I've done that in the past, just to get out of something I didn't want to do. And that's what it feels like when you don't speak to certain people in your life that you were once so very close to. I understand you have priorities, but You grow apart and you move onto other things, but it shouldn't be so hard to keep in contact should it? *sigh*

Alas, life is not that simple. And this continues to happen. I guess I should be happy with who is in my life right now, and not wish for what is no longer. Honestly, I've never been happier, but that doesn't mean I don't miss those that I used to be so incredibly close with. I guess this is all just part of growing up. There will be people that come and go, and seasons that bring about different changes. Nothing ever stays the same, isn't that what they always say? Better start getting used to it. 

That's all for now,

Shelby

New TV Show Obsession: Felicity

Now that One Tree Hill is finished, I've been trying to find a new show to get into. Thank goodness for Netflix, right? I stumbled upon Felicity (starring Keri Russell), seeing as it was recommended. I remember hearing about this show around the same time as Dawson's Creek, Party of Five and the rest of those...but I never really watched or kept up with it at all. I was probably under the age of ten at the time, so that might explain it.
I was extremely bored late this afternoon, and decided to give it a try. From the minute it started, I was practically hooked. You see, a show has to really hit me in the first episode or I'll just quit watching. It's all or nothing with me! There's been a theme with the shows I watch: small towns, drama, eccentric characters that I feel like I could be BFF's with, and there's just a lot of heart in it. You can feel the warmth of each person and the script is much deeper than just another show for entertainment or shock value. I want a moral or lesson at the end of each episode, where the character feels remorse for a wrong action or there are consequences for not doing what they should have. I want to see the characters grow as human beings. I ended up finding that in this show!
I immediately clicked with Felicity. She's a college age girl that is trying to find her way in the world; finding out who she wants to be, really figuring out the dating game, and making decisions for herself in another state than her parents. It's a whole new world, and she's inspiring me to want to get out of my comfort zone, just based on the courage she's had to do it.  I also noticed that it was created by J.J Abrams (Lost), who is working on a pilot, Shelter, with Mark Schwahn. I am completely sold on that show already, judging by the hits they've had on their hands already.
I'm almost four episodes into Felicity, and I can already tell this will definitely become one of my favorite shows! I can't wait to stay tuned and find out what happens :)

~Shelby <3

This Week In Review

Monday: 

I cleaned my room, which actually didn't take as long as I thought it would. But, I also didn't get rid of much as I thought I would either...Oh well. 

My new journal!

Tuesday:

Such a great practice!

Wednesday:
This day was basically dedicated to One Tree Hill's series finale, other than our Young Adults service that I was involved with at church.

Such a fun night, hanging out with friends and singing on the worship team! I actually started one of the songs! I messed up on the timing, but no one else could tell except for us, so it was all good. I was just glad I took another step out of my comfort zone! I've sang in front of my high school and elementary school growing up, but this is a totally different setting. It feels so great that God is using my friends and I in such big ways, and I'm so glad that I get to share in this experience with them.
The service was great! Our Pastor spoke on how God is our source of life. When we aren't connected to Him, basically we are dead inside...and it is so true! I went through a really dark season like this where I was going to church, but not necessarily spending time with God. Over the past 5-6 months or so, I have been and it has seriously changed so much! I have so far to go still, but when I look back on where I was and how much more joy I have now, I never want to go back. :)
After service, I went straight home to watch American Idol, then the series finale of One Tree Hill! And that wasn't complete without a little Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream!

Thursday:
Yesterday, my mom and I got our nails done at the salon! I had only had acrylics done once before for my 8th grade graduation, but it was nothing like this. I didn't realize they massage your hands and arms with lotion and a hot stone. It felt so good! I thought it was worth it just for that! LOL. I got shellack on my nails this time, which is basically like a fancy coating for your own nails and you can pick out any color. The color I picked was a little too light, but I still think it'll look nice for Easter! Plus, they feel healthier now :)

I hadn't planned on doing anything yesterday afternoon, when my friend, Viviyan called and asked if I wanted to go walking around my neighborhood. I was all for it! So, she came over and off we went. It was a gorgeous Spring day; the sun was shining, there was a slight breeze, and it wasn't too hot or too cold. It gave us a chance to really talk, because we haven't been able to talk in depth lately when we've seen each other. It was really nice!

We stopped at The Tea Bar to get something to drink, and were just in time for Easter choir practice.

The church was pretty chaotic! Just about everyone and their brother was there setting up everything for this weekend, holding department meetings to train everyone, and the band/choir was practicing for worship! It's so exciting, though, thinking about all the new people that will be there Sunday morning and possibly accepting Christ into their heart's. It makes all of the hard work worth it!

Set list!

I got fro yo with my parents last night, we watched Idol, and then I decided to listen to One Tree Hill podcasts to fall asleep. It's so cool hearing the writers/producers talk about the process of making an episode and just their ideas and ramblings in general. I think some of the most brilliant people are people who work in TV, because they have a vision. What they've seen in their minds has turned into this really incredible fictional world.

Friday:
My mom and I went to lunch and ran our usual errands, and the rest of today has been just hanging out at home. And me really freaking myself out, but that's a whole other story. Anyway, happy easter weekend/Good Friday! Bunnies, candy and Easter baskets are great...but in the midst of all the family and fun, don't forget about Jesus and what He did for us on the cross that day! He is the reason we celebrate this season too :)

Just wishing I knew how to play it still.....

That's all for now,
~Shelby

One Tree Hill Series Finale

Oh boy, where to even begin with a series finale like that?? I've watched series finales for shows I've never even watched once before that and have teared up. You can bet your bottom dollar I was almost bawling last night. I loved how there were simple moments and mentions of things past, but still enough of the newness to the show that it wasn't over kill.
The interview hour before with Mark and the cast summed the show up perfectly. During that time, I would go out into the living room and tell my parents how much I was enjoying it. I told my dad I might just have him watch that instead of watching an episode, because it shows the highlights, Wilmington, the cast, and talks about the characters. He said he would watch it with me, possibly even Saturday. Although, it might be too soon still..I might do the ugly cry; could get awkward with other people in the room ;).
And then the FINAL episode appeared. I was excited, but also nervous. I hadn't read Twitter spoilers or anything, so I had no idea of what to expect, and I liked it that way. There are so many good moments, that it's hard to narrow it down. As a whole, it's hands down one of the best episodes. There was so much heart and you could feel the emotion of every single actor...it wasn't just the characters that were speaking. It was Joy, Sophia, Rob, Shantel, Lee, Antwon, Lisa, James, etc. I honestly can't think of any other way that it could've gone.

StarsOnline News

Highlights for me:

• The Naley references to the cracker jacks and rain
• Logan calling Quinn "mom" and Clay "dad"
• Julian buying Brooke's old house
• Young Nathan on the Rivercourt
• Haley singing at Tric
• Nathan giving Chris his old guitar that he had sold on their road trip back in the day
• The group sitting in the stands of the high school gym watching Jamie play, flashing back to their moments there...and that he beat Nathan's record!!! :*) Sniffle, sniffle
• Brooke's moment in the school hallway with Julian; missing it
• Haley explaining the predictions to Jamie
• The talk Nathan and Jamie had at the Rivercourt about playing sports
• The cast rocking out to Gavin DeGraw's "I Don't Want To Be" at Tric

As you can see, I could go on and on about this episode. Just when I'd think I was done crying through Chase and Chris' scenes, something else would come up and I'd start all over again. And that is everything that a finale should be. I love that there was an ending, but everyone is still in Tree Hill. Most of the time when a series ends, they all move away or start a completely different chapter of their lives. I love that you can picture them all still in the same town, just adjusting to life's many changes as they always have. As the years go by, you might not have a new episode, but you can picture Haley and Nathan dealing with a now high school Jamie, Brooke and Julian raising their little family and running the store, and the rest of the gang doing whatever journey it is they're embarking on. 

In the interview special Mark Schwahn said, "We’re still here. We just won’t see you every week. I like that tone, and I like that feel. So I kind of wanted to leave the fans with that, like Tree Hill will always be here. And I think that’s a nice place to be." I 

couldn't have put it into words more perfectly.

"Go Jamie!"

That's all for now folks. Good night Tree Hill :)

~Shelby 

Whitehorse Cover

My Junior year of high school, I did the talent show and I sang a Taylor Swift song, of course. Her music just always fit so perfectly and spoke to so many people in my age group. In fact, I pretty much sang one of her songs every chance I got. So, here's Whitehorse! I hope you enjoy it :)

~Shelby

Simple Ways To Make Someone's Day

This day in age, it's so easy to get caught up in our lives that are going 100 miles an hour each day! We're so attached to our phones, computers, TV's, and whatever other social network connection is out there. In being so wrapped up, we miss those little moments; the moments that make life worth living.

The other day, I was on campus at school walking with a couple of friends when we ran into another group. My friend knew one of the girls that was standing there, so we stopped for a couple minutes. A few seconds into it, I heard "I like your bag!" I smiled and said "thank you." She added, "You have beautiful eyes, and a great smile...and just a pretty face!" Or something to that effect. I just thought it was one of the sweetest things anyone's ever said. Here's a complete stranger that's saying this, and it just really made my day.

It had me thinking about the power of our words. Each day we can choose to build people up; we can smile in their direction, give a compliment, thank them for the service they're doing, or just help someone out with a simple task. When I think of how small gestures have made my day, it makes me want to make someone else's day as well. I want to start doing that; looking for the good in everyone and being able to make someone feel good. We're all going through our own trials and knowing that someone cares or is taking time out of their day to notice you can really change a lot.

That's all for now,
Shelby

Goodnight Tree Hill...For The Last Time

A show has not really tugged at my heart strings since Gilmore Girls when it ended in 2007, and I thought no show could EVER even come close to the way I felt about it. And then another show about a small town came into my life. One Tree Hill has become so much more than a show to its viewers over the past nine years, including myself. It has been their lives portrayed across TV screens week after week; as the characters were growing and maturing, so was the audience. Whether it was them or someone they knew, they related to the story line or a character in some way. I know I did. I didn't watch nine years straight like the rest of the OTH family did, but I've grown to love it just as much. And boy, do I wish I had watched during my high school years. It would have saved me A LOT and helped me through a lot of struggles.

I was probably about eleven or twelve when it first aired, and around the time I fell in love with Chad Michael Murray, so I had to watch an episode. The first one would have been Haley's bachelorette party in season 2, which I watched with my mom. After about 20 minutes, she was like uh, no, I think we're gonna have to change the channel and we did (LOL). A couple years later, I made the decision that I was going to try it again. This time, it was the school shooting episode, and I watched the entire thing. I was so intrigued by it all. I thought it was SO good. But, at the time, I was pretty chicken and didn't think I could handle something like that week after week, so I just didn't watch again, except for maybe here and there on SoapNet if nothing else was on. Until that one day, last September or October.

One Tree Hill couldn't have come at a more perfect time. I was really missing my friends, because we're all on different schedules or in different states or we're just getting ready to head down different paths. I needed a little insight or a little reminder that it was all going to be okay. All Tomorrow's Parties was the first episode I watched and was hooked. To me, it captured everything that the show is about, teenagers finding their way and forming lifelong friendships in the process, capturing those rare and incredible moments of high school. I guess I needed reminding of the great times my friends and I shared, even if nothing else in the future. And that sometimes there are such powerful moments in our lives, that it stuns us as it's going on and we'll remember it forever; something that will help us through the moments that are less than perfect. That was when I knew this was more than just a show for pure pleasure and entertainment. This show was looking much deeper than that and I loved it. It told a story; it was there to HELP people. I feel like this is one of the last shows on TV that truly give a moral to the story. I love that they would make mistakes, but that there were consequences for their actions or they learned to do the right thing. This show made a difference, and it is inspiring so many people all around the world to do the same with their talents and voices.

Lessons I learned from One Tree Hill:

• Even in the midst of all the chaos in life, you can find the beauty in things, like the warmth of family and friends being by your side.
• Everyone has greatness inside of them, you just have to BELIEVE in yourself and in the possibility of your dreams.
• Everyone deserves a second chance 
• Don't judge people based on appearances or reputation. If you look past all of the "bluster and b.s", you just might be surprised...(Look at Nathan and Haley).
• True love is out there, and TRUE love can work past anything (Naley)
• Even just one song can completely change your entire day (Peyton)
• Your art matters and it will inspire others
• Tell the ones that you love most how much they mean to you, because you never know when that will be taken away
• Happiness isn't a destination, it's a mood...and people will probably be happier when they figure that out (Julian)
• You can rise above whatever trials and adversities in your life, don't just sit there feeling sorry for yourself
• There is nothing romantic about pain and grief, it's just ugly garbage, that has no business being there
• The pain you're feeling right now? It goes away, and it DOES get better.
• Things aren't always going to be fair in the real world, but for the most part, you get what you give.
• If you open your heart, you might find yourself in some pretty incredible, yet unexpected places
• Whatever you're facing, you're not alone.
• Things will come and go in your life, but true friendship remains!
• Some people will never change. Instead of focusing on that, accept it and move on with YOUR life.
• Don't let fear dictate your life; rise above it
• High school isn't everything.
• Your life shouldn't revolve around basketball, there are more important things in life
• People are going to label you, but it's how you rise above those labels that matters
• You are worth it and being YOU is enough
• "Always love, hate will get you every time!"
• Never trust anyone with the last name Keller ;)
• I could come up with more, but we'd probably be here for days. 

These characters have come alive to me! I especially admire the characters of Haley James Scott, Peyton Sawyer, and Brooke Davis. There's a little bit of me in all of them. I had friendships like they did, I knew people who fought like they did, and I knew people who loved like they did. All strong, empowering women that had a dream and went after it. They remind girls everywhere to believe in themselves! And as for the guys, well, they remind us that maybe there are still some good ones left in this world ;) HA!

In the short time that I've been watching this show, I have made some incredible memories and had opportunities that I will never forget. I've met some really wonderful friends through Twitter, An Evening With One Tree Hill and the Team True Beauty event that have really inspired me. I've met a few of the cast members who couldn't have been more gracious and lovely, and were more beautiful in person not only because of their looks, but because of their hearts. I couldn't be more grateful or have dreamed of anything more. Later this year, I'll be going to Wilmington, NC to see where the show was filmed, and I am beyond excited! This will truly fulfill all of my wildest expectations.

To end this, I'd just like to say, Mark Schwahn, thank you for inviting us into your world and sharing your stories with us. Thank you to the cast that became like our friends through the likes of Haley, Nathan, Brooke, Julian, Peyton, Lucas, Jamey, Skills, Mouth, etc. Good night Tree Hill, and thanks for always being a safe place that we could always run to; where things were always better. This may be the ending of the Tree Hill gang, but we can all hold onto those memories through the box sets. No, it's not the same, but, it will still help you through the hard times that life will always throw your way.

That's all for now,
Shelby
xoxox  

A Little One Tree Hill For Ya

In honor of One Tree Hill ending this week, I thought I'd post a few random One Tree Hill gifs and graphic designs I found on google. I also have a video of my cousin and I when we drove down to LA for the evening with One Tree Hill in January! :) 

That's all for now,
Shelby
xoxox