July 7, 2012

"Half scared to death, can't catch my breath...aren't these the moments we live for?" ~Gloriana

They say, "If your dreams don't scare you, then they aren't big enough," and I've always believed that. Which is a good thing too because mine are starting to scare the heck out of me. I can't tell you how many nights I've had trouble falling asleep lately, worrying about the future and what's to come and how to make the biggest dream of mine come true. I've never really cried much at the prospect of not finding the guy of my dreams or getting my fairytale wedding; I've never come close, because it's just not that important to me. That's where music steps in and the tears begin. And I'm sure all of you know, because I write just about every time any of that comes to mind and how I'm completely clueless on how to make any of these things happen, instead of just dreaming about them. Well, I did come up with a sort of outline, as I've done before, of what I need to do or some back-up plans to get the ball rolling:.
  • Get my permit by the end of this year and my license hopefully by the middle of next year!
  •  The Voice auditions-if it's meant to be...I will find my way there one or another, whether my family is for it or could care less
  • Get a job and save, save, save!!!!!!
  • Write into Ellen daily; maybe she'll catch on that I'm serious about this
  • Annoy the heck out of everyone I know with connections or people on Twitter that can help me get somewhere...anywhere at this point.
  • Check into jobs, apartments, rent, etc. 
This is MY year and I'm going for it. I am more determined than I've ever been. So, people can either get on board now or watch me as I walk away to do what I need to do. It's not their life, I don't get why they care so much. I'm done!

That's all for now,


Is there really such a thing as fate? A predestined life waiting for you, that no matter what you do you will end up in the exact place at the end of the road that you were supposed to? I'm not so sure about that. I want to, but how can you know for sure that there is only one path to take without plans changing or dreams shifting.

The 20s should be the most exciting time of our lives, but right now it just feels like a lot of putting the puzzle pieces together and things not adding up quite right. Even for my friends that are having the time of their lives and their wishes are coming true, they're still trying to keep the faith, instead of waiting for the ground to fall out from out from underneath them.

I guess in time we'll all end up where we're supposed to. Until then, we just need to keep the faith and know that God has a bigger plan.

That's all for now,


This morning, I woke up around 9:30! I finally decided to get back into my devotion time with God in the morning rather than waiting all day and letting my moods get all out of hand. I got ready and pretty soon it was time to meet one of my best friend's, Marissa, at Chic-Fil-A for lunch. Go figure, but it has been at least six months or so since we've really seen each other and we live in the same town. Our schedules have just been off and life gets busy, but we were finally able to catch up today. With her, I can always pick up right where we left off. It didn't take even a minute, before we were diving in to tell each other stories and there were a lot of them. We ate, gabbed for quite some time about everything from family and friends to school and the future. At least I know I'm not alone with feeling like life is just sort of at a stand-still; not being where we want to be. I guess it's just that age. At least that's what I keep telling myself-we're all just trying to figure out where we want to end up and who we want to be in the process. I've never had to sugar coat anything around her. Not that I necessarily have to around other people, but she's one of those people that has always just understood me and would let me vent, not judging me or anything. She will tell me flat out how she feels and I can do the same with her, though we're usually pretty in sync with things. I even ran into a couple more friends from church at Chic-Fil-A, which was cool. I didn't talk to them long, because it was crowded, but it was good to see them. Also, while we were sitting down, one of the workers from Chic-Fil-A kept walking around to see if anyone needed anything. But, he kept glancing at me as he walked by our table. Marissa's like "Someone likes you." Lucky me...haha. When we finished with lunch, we headed to The Marketplace to the movie theater so we could buy the tickets. Once we had those in hand, we were good to go. We hung out in the shade for a bit, just doing more catching up and laughing about how crazy life is and random stories that we hadn't been able to share.

The Katy Perry movie is incredible! I was a big fan before, but after seeing the vision and drive she has for her craft, I have so much respect for her. I don't want to give anything away, but knowing her story with the divorce and everything; when she cried, I was trying not to full on cry, which was extremely hard. I was wiping away tears, not gonna lie. I don't think people give her enough credit, because of the crazy costumes she wears, etc. But, she knows exactly who she is and what she wants, it's just that she's the first person to be like her and that's a little shocking to America. Seeing her as just Katy, behind the scenes, and how she handles the pressure of being in the spotlight, I just love her even more. She is so full of life and charisma; she would totally be the best person to road trip with.
Marissa came over to my house for a few minutes after the movie. She said hi to my mom, visited with one of my cats, and filled me in on another pretty important story, then we said goodbye, agreeing that we couldn't go that long without seeing each other again. We've also made plans to start Skyping more and possibly start doing the "6$ Tuesday" special at the movies.

I can't just sit around for long, so I decided to go on a bike ride after Marissa left. It was a gorgeous, hot summer day and I wasn't going to pass that up. I listened to some Chris Young (yet again) and just enjoyed the sunshine. I sat on my front porch for awhile, continuing to listen to music and just enjoyed being still. That's something I don't do a lot. I constantly have to have my hands doing something, or I'm wandering my house, or writing...The list could go on and on. But, I decided to just sit and and relax for a few minutes. The simple things are what life is really about. In between songs on my iPod I could hear the rustling of the trees and could see the sunlight bouncing off of the leaves. It's in those moments that we find something greater than us.

I got home and decided to start a new blog project type thing I've been thinking a lot about this week. It's about how much I love the Country lifestyle basically. It's where I'll post a lot about Country music and Nashville, whether it's favorite places, lyrics, artists, videos, or daydreams, style, or my favorite country type items that I love. I thought it would be fun to do. So, I hope you'll check that out as well as this blog. I'm just a blogging machine.
Tonight, we sat down to dinner as a family as we do most nights, then decided to head out to our local baseball field where they do fireworks. It's a bit of a drive, so it's always nice to talk with my parents and just listen to the radio. I tried to put my phone down for awhile, giving my brain time to breathe. Sometimes it just goes into overload because of all the information I'm seeing on a daily basis; I'm thinking I need to get away from it more. We stopped at Sonic to get slushies, which weren't as good as I was hoping they'd be, but still refreshing. We pulled into a parking lot about a block away from the stadium, where we kept waiting, waiting and waiting for something to happen. Well, we waited for close to an hour maybe, and the fireworks never happened, so we finally left. It turns out they were in the 13th inning...That explains it. Even so, it was a fun night just driving around town. Slowly, but surely, I'm learning you don't always have to be doing something big to make it memorable. In fact, most of life's greatest moments are unexpected and the little things that make our hearts feel full. 

Now, it's almost 2 a.m and we're going out of town, once again tomorrow morning. I'll actually be kind of glad when we can just have a normal weekend at home. I never thought I'd say that. HAHA. I'm going to try turning in for the night.

That's all for now,

The Weekly Review

This was a really good week! I got my math homework finished with a 90% on the test, caught up on a lot of writing, went bike riding, got back into my devotion time a bit, the Fourth of July holiday, talking with my dad outside=perfect summer night, practice at church with the worship team (I've missed them and singing) and the Katy Perry movie with my best friend (but that'll get its own post for Friday). Here are some of the highlights in pictures:

"Don't forget to fill an old shoebox full of things to look back on..."

That's all for now,

Independence Day

"You've just gotta ignite the light and let it shine...just own the night, like the fourth of July!"
~Katy Perry~

This Fourth of July was a little different for me than most years. In some ways, it didn't even feel like the holiday, but it was still a blast. Usually, we have the family over to BBQ and shoot some fireworks, then watch whatever special is on TV. I'm also pretty sad I didn't record the Macy's Firework Spectacular that had Kenny Chesney and Katy Perry on it; hoping I can find it online somewhere. This year, we decided to go to Dodger Stadium for the game and watch their fireworks show that we'd heard is incredible. My friend, Viviyan was able to go with us, which was awesome for me to be able to hang out with her. As soon as she got to our house, we took off. It was nice being able to catch up with her and hear about her moving experience now that she's on her own. It seems like all of my friends are at such exciting times in their lives. We had lunch at Claim Jumper in Valencia. That was quite eventful between listening to the conversation that we could overhear in the booth next to us and looking at pictures of the "world's ugliest dog"...It was hard to catch a breath in between laughing so hard! LOL. After lunch, even though we were pretty full, we decided to get some ice cream at Baskin Robbins. There's always room for dessert, right?

Our festive ice cream! SO tasty!

We had time to kill once we got into the LA area, so we drove around Toluca Lake to see if anything exciting was happening there. Haylie Duff was having a party for the holiday, so we must've just missed Hilary and her husband, but other than that things were pretty quiet in the neighborhood. We went to Griffith Observatory to hang out. I don't think I've ever been up there more than I have this year, LOL. We walked around outside, checking out the view and the gorgeous day. It was smoggy all around the city, as always, but the weather was cool and breezy. We decided to go inside the planetarium for a few minutes and watched the pendulum, which was a little bit more exciting than it sounds. It's one of my favorite places to just hang out. It's usually pretty crowded, because it's a big tourist attraction, but so nice if you can tune it all out.

The game didn't start until 6:10, but we wanted to make sure we got there in plenty of time since it would probably be busier and so we could hang around the field level. We explored a bit on the field level and hung out for a few minutes, waiting for some family friends we had run into earlier in the day. My parents talked to them for awhile, while Viviyan and I watched batting practice with the opposing team. Finally, we headed up to our seats just in time for The National Anthem and the other festivities. Billy Ray Cyrus ended up singing it, which was pretty cool! I was hoping Miley would be in attendance, but she wasn't :( They brought out a big American flag and showed a couple videos of soldiers that had messages for their families and honored the veteran's in the stands. One video really got me! A husband sent a video to his wife, who had no idea he would be doing it, and he said that he was thinking about her "always and forever", which made my Naley heart (One Tree Hill) swoon that there ARE in fact real couples like that. It just proves to me that true love is out there and it can work no matter what the circumstances may be.
"Doesn't matter where you are, it's the same old stripes, the same old stars. the same old highways cutting across, the same old moon turning on and off--looking around it's good to see, everybody out there keeping it country."
~Jake Owen~

The game went super quick, which was a nice change from Sunday, which dragged on extremely slow. Charlie Sheen also ended up being at the game, so it was entertaining watching him! At one point he had a bat...I didn't think that was such a great idea, but everyone went unharmed which was good. And the DODGERS WON! It looks like their losing streak could possibly be over again. Hopefully they can keep this up whatever they're doing. When the game finished, they started setting up for the fireworks show. They played patriotic themed music, including Katy Perry's "Firework" to which me and Viviyan rocked out to and recorded each other (video to come), and then it was show time. The lights dimmed, the music turned up and fireworks lit up the night sky. It was SO cool. There's something about the Fourth of July that brings a sense of pride to where you're from, who you are and where you're going. It feels good to be with family and friends, not worried about anything else and just living in that moment. There's just something about fireworks that makes you go back into this kid state of amazement; everything's exciting and new. It makes you feel young at heart, no matter what age you actually are. The fireworks show is seriously top notch. I wish we lived closer, so we could go to the show every Friday night. My friends and I might try to go to them some night.

Where Charlie Sheen was sitting in comparison to us. 

When the game finished, we headed home after stopping at Del Taco. Viviyan spent the night, since it's apparently the deadliest day of the year for car crashes and she wasn't comfortable with driving late at night with all the crazies on the road. We all just went to our own quarters and went to bed, though. I had a hard time falling asleep. I almost got through the entire Jake Owen album before I fell asleep. I guess that's just a typical night for me. Luckily I didn't hear too many fireworks that scared the crap out of me. That's always a good thing. I jump enough at our ice machine. It was a really great Fourth of July! I hope to get a video together of the day sometime soon...so, stay tuned.

P.S I also came to the conclusion that you can hear a lot of interesting "one liners" while you're out and about, especially in LA. So, I've decided to jot some of my favorite ones down when I hear them at a public place and post them for your entertainment. Hopefully you find them as entertaining as I do.

  • "We're so cute! How did we end up so cute?
  • "Put that down, you're going to hit somebody with that!"
  • "Billy Ray Cyrus sucks at singing!"
  • "Dude, that was the dorkiest white dude ever!"
  • "You can't just have all the fun and then not pay the price."

That's all for now,