August 2, 2013

These Are The Days I Want To Remember

Yesterday, I was sitting at my desk watching Glee, eating leftover Chinese food, and texting one of my best friends as we talked and cried over the last season of the show and Cory Monteith's death. I know that probably doesn't sound like much or makes me sound extremely pathetic, but I'm starting to hold these memories closer to my heart, and started thinking, "These are the moments right here." These things that all seem so insignificant right now are really everything. The simple text from a friend, dinner with family, laughing until you can't breathe, trips that aren't planned...All of it.

This is where all of my shaping and growth is really taking place. This is the age where I'm going to make the most mistakes, and then I'm going to bounce back and figure out exactly what I want. These are the days when I'm not responsible for anyone else and the hardest decision I have to make is what kind of cereal do I want for breakfast? Or what show do I want to start next on Netflix next? I know this is probably one of my last summers of being so carefree, so I intend to make the most of it. This is the age to try out new hairstyles, meet new people, listen to your music a little louder, try a new look out...See what works and what doesn't. I think I'm in that stage right now, and I'm really excited about it.

I'm a planner, so sometimes it's hard for me to just enjoy right now, without thinking about thirty years into the future about where I'll be or what I should be doing to get there. Growing up may be hard in some aspects; learning when to let go and when to move on, or whether to hold on for as long as you can. But, eventually you find your way and it'll be really sweet.

That's all for now,
Shelby :)

My Life As Of Lately

I still haven't been keeping as up to date on here as I guess I'd like to, but my focus has been on other things as of lately, so I just haven't gotten around to stopping in. But, I thought I'd change that right about now and catch y'all up to speed on my life.

So, I guess I not many things have changed, but things are good and I'm on my way to some really great things. Until then, my summer is going fabulously! I can't remember the last summer where I had nothing to do; no projects or reading or summer classes to get out of the way. It's kind of weird, I have to admit, but I'm really liking it. I know once school starts I'm not going to have much of a life, so I'm trying to soak up all the free time, whether it's actually being productive and actually getting stuff done around the house, reading or wasting time by looking up pointless videos on YouTube. I'm just enjoying whatever comes along.

Beach trip//
My parents and I went to the beach for the day to celebrate their anniversary. I tagged along yet again, but we had an absolute blast! HA! I had not exactly been in the most pleasant of moods (to put it nicely), but after meeting my cousin for dinner, I started feeling much better. We don't get to see him a lot, so it was great to laugh and hear what he'd been up to. After dinner, we went to the beach and walked along the pier. It was FREEZING outside, but the cold air was such a nice break from the heat at home, so I took a deep breath and admired the ocean and beauty that God has created! Simplicity is what I long for, contrary to most peoples' beliefs, I'm sure. I also got a chance to watch more Glee in the car ride to and from. It was a beautiful day of escaping for a bit, and I never complain about that. 

Amy Grant concert//
Any Grant came to one of our local theaters for a concert and she was incredible. I've seen her in concert before, but this was in a much different setting. She sang more of her gospel songs and some of her other pop hits, and also brought Brandon Heath for several songs. I was so inspired that night with the fact that no matter what happens in this life, God still remains the same. He is peace, love and truth, and things in this world are so uncertain; there will be hard times, yes, but they won't last forever. And when you're having a happy season, celebrate and revel in it, because that is also temporary and life is fleeting. Each and every day, bigger reminders are coming full swing of how intense life can be...and you have to have hope to carry you through, you can't do it alone. Some days, it takes a lot to feel like you have to fight back, but it's worth it. I've been so worried about so many things coming up...getting my license, finalizing last minute things with school, and just where I'm going to end up. Because, I feel like I've always known what I wanted to do, but now I feel as though I'm starting to question everything, and I'm starting from scratch again. Maybe that's okay, you know? But, I feel like I got the confirmation I was looking for. God has His hand on me, and everything is going to work out.
Amy's a great entertainer, and she's also incredibly funny; telling stories about her kids and other little things here and there, it was very laid back. You felt like you were in her living room and she was just visiting with everyone, which makes it feel so much more personal. I am in love with music and performing. If I get to do that the rest of my life, I'd be an incredibly happy person.

After the concert, we went out to dinner with some family friends; chatting about the concert and hearing some old stories about their adventures with my parents back before my time, which is always fun. 

L.A, L.A, Baby//

My parents and I have been going to Dodger games, and I always love being able to explore the wonderful city of L.A before the game. My aunt went with us again this time, and I can't express enough what an amazing day it was! I was in a particularly good mood and something in me just wanted to make the day great, no matter what happened, no matter what anyone said...I wasn't going to let anyone rain on my parade. And you know what? I didn't. Most of what happens to us in life is all a matter of how we look at it and how we respond to it, and it's a lesson I keep having to learn time and time again. But, I think I'm finally starting to catch on.

Anyway, we had lunch at one of our favorite restaurants in the area, and still had some time to kill. Because I am OBSESSED with Glee, I suggested finding the school where they film some of the outdoor dancing scenes (in the lunch area quad) and the football field. My dad was game for it, so we pulled up to the school, only to realize it was the one we had been to before. But, this time, we got out and walked around a bit. Since the school is closed on Saturdays, we could only peek through the fence in certain parts, but I was still just so excited to be there...McKinley High. I was totally "Gleeking" out. I am so thankful that my parents are usually up for an adventure like this, and listen to me go on and on about my favorite fictional couples or the life lessons I learned from the characters on my favorite TV shows, because it is a pretty big passion of mine. They sure are pretty much the coolest. 

After that, we drove around for a bit in a different section of town than we normally do, and there were so many gorgeous buildings we had never seen before. It's amazing how big the city is, so you can live in the area or a couple hours away and still have so much to see/do every time you visit. It keeps things fresh, though. 

The game was at 6:10, and we got there in plenty of time, but we just went to our seats right away this time. It was a really great game and the Dodgers WON!!! WOO! It felt like it went a bit slower, but it was all good; it gave me a chance to spend more time with family, to laugh and joke around, which carried over into the car ride, even as we stopped for Krispy Kreme donuts and Jack in the Box (healthy, right?). As great as the day was, nothing beats laughing until your gut is sore and tears are streaming down your face with the people closest to you. Those are the moments I live for, and I am trying as hard as I can to remember how rare they can be, but to hold onto them and my loved ones every single time.
Another beautiful day for the books. 

After Cory Monteith passed away, I suggested to one of my best friends, Viviyan, that we should do a Glee marathon, just sort of in honor of him. I had actually been wanting to do one recently anyway since Netflix added it, but this seemed like the perfect time. I had watched the first three seasons back when the show premiered, but just stopped watching during the 4th, so I wanted to get caught up. She had only seen a couple episodes here and there, but she was hooked after we started watching again on Netflix. And so we now we have been watching and talking about it nonstop, and it has been glorious. I'm pretty sure we've gotten even closer over the past couple weeks, and I didn't think that was possible. I want my life to be an episode of Glee.... It has also been inspiring me to get back into doing music/theater. I really miss it, and Glee has reminded me just why. Performing and being onstage is where I belong. Thank you, Rachel Berry and Lea Michele for helping me see the light again.

In other news, I've been driving a lot more to get practice (DUH), because my test deadline is coming up soon, and I'm really starting to like being behind the wheel. I feel like I'm in control and am actually moving forward with things, which is a big relief and a big weight off of my shoulders; really liberating. I think back to when I started out just a few short months ago; how terrified I was to leave the parking lot of the high school I was learning in or was freaked out the first time I pulled out onto the street and thought a car might come close to me or I'd do something terribly, terribly wrong. Little by little, I have gained the confidence that I needed...and a lot of it comes from just taking that first leap of faith to actually do it, and the next is just a lot of practice. Sure, there are still things I can improve on, but you don't learn until you put yourself in the game...And that's what I intend to. Instead of freaking myself out, I'm just going to get excited that this is just the beginning of all that is to come...and I can't wait. But, I'm also just enjoying right now, and the fact that now I'll be able to drive myself to lunch with friends or to church. Baby steps are good. So, maybe it has taken me a little longer to grow up...oh well. I'm marching to the beat of my own drum. The only one I need to compare myself to is me. 

The past couple days, my mind and heart have just been a little scattered and heavy. There have been so many reminders recently that life is short and the time we have with loved ones is very limited. Or I wonder whether the dreams I hold deepest in my heart will ever come true, and it kills me to think that they might never happen. I freak myself out about my driving test...And all of the what if's start to become a chain reaction. But, you know what? You just have to let them go. What's meant to be will always find a way, right? God has a plan and now it's time to BELIEVE that. 

So...things are good. I'm learning. I'm growing up. I'm moving on. I'm finding who I'm meant to be, and I think I'm starting to enjoy the process. :)

That's all for now,
Shelby <3 nbsp="" p="">