February 25, 2012

You Can't Push Love Away


I'm the kind of person that once I've had a bad experience with something, I don't want to go back and try it again. I've been like that for as long as I can remember really. Whether it was riding a roller coaster at Disneyland or trying a certain food. As I got older, I can see how it got a little worse . If people hurt me once, they all would...and they'd keep doing it. So, I wanted to wait for people to come to me, because I was afraid. Lately, I've been learning to be more assertive- to put myself out there and just see what happens. That's also where things get a little messy...finding that line between being too clingy and just going for something.

You might be able to get away with that in some cases, but love isn't one of them. Just because someone broke your heart once or it hasn't worked out for people you've known, doesn't mean that'll be the same for you. Sometimes, as hard as it is, you just have to forget the past. Be cautious, but not so much that it will hold you back from things you want to try. I know it has paid off in a lot of other areas in my life, so why can't this ring just as true?

Don't put love in a category just because it hasn't worked out just yet. Someday you'll find someone who'll make your world spin in the best ways possible. Guard your heart for it affects everything you do, but don't shut it off completely. You'll be surprised at the most unexpected places you can find love. I'm speaking to myself as I write this too, so don't think I've got it all figured out because I don't...AT ALL.

That's all for now,
Shelby
xoxox

This Week In Review

This week was pretty laid back! A few exciting things happened, but for the most part I just wanted to chill out and relax. It gave me time to actually get some things accomplished. I've felt extremely exhausted and I'm not really sure why, so it was nice to have a little break! Other than that, it was a really good week. I spent more time with God, got school work done, got involved in prayer day at school, had practice for the worship team at church this weekend, etc. 
I felt so much love from my family and friends after being baptized last Sunday. I had a few messages on Facebook and my friends were just there for me during the week when I needed prayer, and I don't know what I would've done without them. I'm so thankful to my wonderful church family and the fact that they care so much about me. 

I was really into looking up quotes or saving the ones that I thought fit the mood I was in:



I think we established it would be the friend....hahahah

Downloaded The Message Bible app on my iPad...it's amazing!

I want to be a Ruth! 


Our new exercise bike! 

The moment realization hit for me... 

My mom won tickets at our radio station, KUZZ, for The Lorax!!! YAY!
Easter candy is out! Malt balls are amazing!
I got some of my pictures developed from this year so far and scrapbooked them!


Yesterday was a lot of fun! I had my geography class where we got the test back from our previous class. Let's just say it did not turn out like I thought it would :/. After, I headed over to the quad area with my friend Michele for the prayer day we were holding. Her brother played guitar and we sang and prayed over the campus. Something really crazy happened while I was out there. About a month ago at our renewal we had at church, there was a girl who tapped me on the shoulder and said she thought my voice would heal a lot of people. Well, it turns out, she's friends with my friend Michele. She's been telling me all about her, and how hopefully I'd get to meet her soon! It turns out we'd already met; who knew?! God works in mysterious ways. I was only able to stay a few minutes, then I had to get to my sociology class. As soon as that ended, I went back out to pray a little more with the group, which had gotten bigger. I even prayed out loud, which was a big step for me. I get really nervous praying as a "leader"; I sort of stutter and repeat myself when it comes to that, so I usually try to duck out of praying. But, lately, I've been trying to practice little by little whether it's just with my family or a few friends! I'm getting there :)

Last night, we had practice for church on Sunday! The choir is joining in the worship set we're doing, which works because I'm already scheduled to sing with the worship team. We went over the songs that we're singing, which I'm really excited about. They're songs we're all really familiar with and are fun to sing! It also gave Viviyan and I a chance to catch up a little, since we haven't seen each other in a few days ;) haha. That's a long time for us to go without seeing each other lately, when it has been just about every night. I came home and watched American Idol, which I can't say I'm too excited about this season. It just doesn't hit me like it used to...because the talent just isn't what it used to be. I do really like Baylie Brown, but other than that I'm not impressed. I hope to have a favorite by the finale, because we're going and that would make it much more exciting. On another note for talent and past American Idols, Miss Carrie Underwood has a new single out after a long time! 

Today...FRIDAY! It was wonderful :) I slept in a little bit, watched The O.C and One Tree Hill on SoapNet, then finally decided to get ready after being lazy for awhile. And I found out ....CARRIE UNDERWOOD GOT A TWITTER! I never thought I'd see the day! 


When my mom got home from running errands, we went to lunch and made a trip to Target and Ulta. It was such a beautiful day outside that I didn't want to go home. 
Penny for your thoughts...random picture!

Tonight, after dinner my parents and I decided to rent Moneyball. My dad and I got malts at Baskin Robbins before, and we picked up the movie at RedBox. It was kind of slow, but I thought it was good! We almost had the chance to be extras in the movie, because they were doing stadium shots when we were in the area. Unfortunately, it ended up being the day after we left.  It was great getting to see the behind the scenes stuff of baseball, and it had me excited about this year's season of the Dodgers! :D




"Don't say I never gave you anything!" (#ItsanOTHthing) My mom just didn't understand...

A few of my favorite quotes were:
"When your enemy's making a mistake don't interrupt them!"

"How can you not be romantic about baseball?"

"What's your biggest fear?" "A baseball being hit in my general direction!" (Actually, this is mine. I don't like getting close seats, which might be a problem for at least one game this season).

"When you get the answer you're looking for...hang up."

And so begins the weekend. :)

That's all for now,
Shelby
xoxox

February 24, 2012

My Favorite Fictional Couples

I have this problem where I sometimes lose track of reality and find myself living in the dream world of my favorite TV shows. So, periodically I end up in Tree Hill or Stars Hollow hanging out with the Gilmores or the Scott brothers. And sometimes I end up making their problems my own. See what a predicament that puts me in? I'm very involved and become extremely attached to my movies and TV shows; that's what the great ones are supposed to do, right? Right. Moving right along, I'm gonna give you a run down of my favorite couples of all time. I'm sure I've touched on this before, but I have absolutely nothing else to do so this is what I choose to spend my time doing.
Luke and Lorelai: From the very first episode to the very last, we all knew that Luke and Lorelai belonged together. They could drive each other crazy at times, but they loved each other. Their friendship in the diner grew as the years went on and I think that's why their relationship was as strong as it was. Lorelai was the only girl that Luke truly ever cared about enough to do some of the things he did, like building the ice skating rink, building a Chuppah, watching Casablanca with Lorelai, and the list could go on and on. Luke cared for Rory as if she was his own daughter, while her own dad, Christopher was away. Lorelai had a hard time loving people, but Luke she never had any problems with it. They both really screwed things up at the end when Lorelai slept with Chris and Luke pushed the wedding back because of April. I really wish they would've gotten the definite happy ending they deserved, instead of leaving it up to the imagination of the viewers.
Dean and Rory: I truly believe that Dean and Rory belonged together. From the very first episode, I always thought he was perfect for her. He was charming, smart, loyal, kind, and he loved her more than anything. He would've moved Heaven and earth for her, and maybe at times that could be the problem, but he always had the best of intentions. He treated her with respect, like every girl wants to be treated. Honestly, he's the perfect boyfriend in my opinion. He's the one that caught Rory's eye, and she was never even into guys; she focused on school too much. Although, in the third season they really did make him out to be entirely too clingy and that was a real turn off. But, she went straight to Jess who completely disrespected her and Lorelai. I don't think she ever appreciated Dean and loved him the way he loved her, and that always made me a little mad. Every time her and Dean broke up, she always ended up going back to him, it's like she was always waiting for him to be pining after her (And usually he was). I still think out of everyone she was with on the show, they had the most chemistry!
Nathan and Haley: If this couple doesn't help you believe in love, I don't know what will. They've been through it all and still continue to push past whatever obstacle stands in their way every single time. They were high school sweethearts who got married their Junior year and had their first kid the same day as graduation. They did things a little different than most people, but it always seemed to be working for them. Nathan and Haley were a very unlikely pairing, and a lot of their friends and family weren't too crazy about the idea at first. But, they proved them all wrong. They are best friends, they respect each other, they encourage one another, and they love each other. They do the little things for each other like taking the time to listen, spending time with one another, etc. They remind me of a real life couple that I know, and it's beautiful to see that they represent those rare couples that are still in love and will actually last, because they work at it and do whatever it takes to make it work.

I go way back with Cory and Topanga. If you're a 90's kid, I'm sure you did too. I always wanted to find my own Cory Matthews, because I thought he was the greatest thing ever. I loved the fact that when they were just little kids, they knew they were going to get married. Again, they defied the odds when their parents thought they were so young or that they should see what else was out there. They didn't need to see the world or date anyone else to know who they were supposed to be with. Even when Topanga's parents went through a divorce, and she started to doubt love, Cory reminded her of what they had together. He was patient, but he fought for her and what they had. No matter what people came in between them, no matter what obstacles hit them, they worked past it...TOGETHER. And that is the key to any good relationship. When they got married, I cried and still do every time as if I'm at a wedding for people I know.

Good ole Kevin Arnold and Winnie Cooper. My dad used to watch this show a lot on Nick At Nite when I was younger, and that was our thing. I grew to love Kevin and Winnie as if I knew them personally. They were the epitome of "young love", "high school sweethearts" and best friends. They were childhood friends that went through everything together: loss of loved ones, 7 minutes in Heaven, drama at school, and the inevitability of growing up. Everyone pulled for them to stay together, and in the end, they didn't. I watched the series finale in my Bible class my Freshman year of high school (don't ask). I was completely shocked when I found out that Kevin picked up Winnie at the airport with his wife...HIS WIFE, meaning it was not Winnie. I thought about it off and on throughout the day, and still could not believe it. But, I guess that's the way life works-sometimes things don't work out. Now, I watch the show back on The Hub and realize why it probably wouldn't have worked out for them (this is what I mean about that reality thing for me). Winnie always sort of thought she was better than Kevin, and just never seemed to care for him as much as he did her. It's saddening really, but as far as when they were young goes..I thought they were adorable.
Monica and Chandler: I think this picture captures them to a T. It's also one of my favorite episodes, because, well...look at Chandler's smile! HAHAHAHAHA. For many years, I always thought I was team Ross and Rachel. That seemed to be the couple that everyone pulled for. However, when I seriously got into the show and watched from start to finish, Monica and Chandler really took the cake. They were so completely different from one another (which seems to be a pattern here), yet they fell in love. He was crazy and a little immature at times, and she was a control freak who loved to plan and clean. Monica changed Chandler's views on marriage and he helped her loosen up a little. They complement each other so well. They just seemed to get each other, it didn't matter if it made sense to anyone else. Plus, they're just absolutely hilariously when they go back and forth with each other.
Who can forget Harvey and Sabrina? I loved them almost as much as Cory and Topanga growing up. They were high school sweethearts and just so adorable together. They understood each other and no matter how many times Sabrina did things that she couldn't tell Harvey about, he trusted her and let her do her thing. It was another situation that no matter who Sabrina was with, she always went back to Harvey...in fact, that's what stopped her wedding to Aaron in the last episode. I couldn't have been happier. I'm pretty sure I teared up when their "soul mate" pieces fit together perfectly. They were meant to be!

And there ya go...Those are the couples that I absolutely adore! They believe in love and working it out and isn't that how it should be? The best things in life are worth working hard at and fighting for. When you've got a good thing, don't just let it slip away.

That's all for now,
Shelby
xoxox

The 20's Are A Time To Learn

I believe that my 20s are going to be the time of my life. It's a time to find out more about yourself; who you are away from your parents a little more, away from the close group of friends you had in high school, and a lot of the normal surroundings you were used to as a "kid." It's hard, but you'll find out so much more about you are and what you want out of life, not what your family wants for you. And no matter what career path you may want, it's a time to step back and learn from others.


I know exactly what it is that I want to do, or I guess what areas I'd like to get into; I have for as long as I can remember. But, lately, I've become more open to other ideas and the fact that maybe what I want isn't what God wants. I've been hanging out with different people with different careers in new places and surroundings. I've been helping out with/learning from photographers, teachers, musicians, and people that are involved in ministry. It has been helping me out of my comfort zone and my own narrow way of thinking that writing or music are the only things I would be interested in. I'm loving every single second of it. I've learned more about photography (lighting, shots, angles, how the process works), I've learned about the patience it takes to be a teacher (dealing with kids all day, lesson plans, getting their attention, how much planning goes into just one day), how musicians live and breathe music (technical terms, instruments, gigs they've played, other famous musicians they know, favorite performances of artists they admire) and what exactly it means when you're called to ministry(what it means to have the heart to serve, knowing how to deal with people, using your gifts and talents for God's glory, and just the different ministries in general). By observing others doing what they love, it has reminded me of why I want to get into writing and music...to tell a story about dreams, passions, life, etc. It's why we're all here on this earth.

So, today I encourage you to try a new profession for a day (if you have the time or can afford to) or try out a hobby that a friend enjoys or help them out at work. You never know, you just might grow to love it just as much! Be open to new ideas and wherever God might want you.

That's all for now,
Shelby
xoxox

Songs For The Week

"Better Than That"
Scotty McCreery


First crush, first kiss, first time I saw the ocean
And dug my toes in the sand
(Your love is better than that)
Baseball and summer nights, casting out when the fish spurs by,
First time I got a Chevy in my hands
(Your love is better than that)
I thought nothing can touch that by a mile
I thought nothing can make that moment seem so worthwhile

Your love is better, better, better than that
Nothing is sweeter than you,
Making my heart beat so fast
Everything I could have been
That was at the end of all those other passed
Your love is better,
Your love is better than that

Six string, first song, the way it felt to sing along
To some words that were scribbled on my soul
(Your love is better than that)
Courtesy of lyricshall.com
I thought nothing can touch that by a mile
I thought nothing can make that moment seem so worthwhile

Your love is better, better, better than that
Nothing is sweeter than you,
Making my heart beat so fast,
Everything I could have been
That was at the end of all those other passed
Your love is better,
Your love is better than that

One day, years from now,
When I'm old and gray, I'm gonna smile about
How life has been so good...

But your love is better, better, better than that
Nothing is sweeter than you,
Making my heart beat so fast,
Everything I could have been
That was at the end of all those other passed
Yeah, yeah, your love is better,
Better than that
(Your love is better than that)

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFFbg9sVJjQ>


At first, I thought this song would be my theme when I finally found that someone special. But, the more I thought about it, I saw how it applies to my life right now without any guy. I have God and he fulfills all the love I'll ever need...and then, I have my family and friends that I don't know where I'd be without. 
______________________________________________________________________________
"How Will I Know?"
Whitney Houston


There's a boy I know
He's the one I dream of
Looks into my eyes
Takes me to the clouds above

Ooh, I lose control
Can't seem to get enough
When I wake from dreaming
Tell me is it really love

How will I know?
(Don't trust your feelings)
How will I know?

How will I know?
(Love can be deceiving)
How will I know?

How will I know if he really loves me
I say a prayer with every heart beat
I fall in love whenever we meet
I'm asking you what you know about these things

How will I know if he's thinking of me
I try to phone but I'm too shy
(Can't speak)
Falling in love is all bitter sweet
This love is strong why do I feel weak

Oh, wake me, I'm shaking
Wish I had you near me now
Said there's no mistaking
What I feel is really love

Oh tell me how will I know?
(Don't trust your feelings)
How will I know?

How will I know?
(Love can be deceiving)
How will I know?

How will I know if he really loves me
I say a prayer with every heart beat
I fall in love whenever we meet
I'm asking you what you know about these things

How will I know if he's thinking of me
I try to phone but I'm too shy
(Can't speak)
Falling in love is all bitter sweet
This love is strong why do I feel weak

If he loves me, if he loves me not
If he loves me, if he loves me not
If he loves me, if he loves me not

How will I know?
How will I know?
How will I know?
How will I know?

How will I know if he really loves me?
I say a prayer with every heart beat
I fall in love whenever we meet
I'm asking you 'cause you know about these things

How will I know if he's thinking of me?
I try to phone but I'm too shy
(Can't speak)
Falling in love is all bitter sweet
This love is strong why do I feel weak

How will I know?
(How will I know?)
How will I know?
How will I know?

(I say a prayer)
How will I know?
How will I know?
(I'll fall in love)
How will I know?

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3-hY-hlhBg&ob=av2e>


Well, I've been wondering about this...I think I got my answer. At least for now, anyway. 
_____________________________________________________________________________
"Someone Else's Star"
Bryan White


Alone again tonight
Without someone to love
The stars are shining bright
So one more wish goes up
Oh I wish I may
And I wish with all my might
For the love I’m dreaming of
And missing in my life

You’d think that I could find
A true love of my own
It happens all the time
To people that I know
Their wishes all come true
So I’ve got to believe
There’s still someone out there who
Is meant for only me

I guess I must be wishing on
Someone else’s star
It seems like someone else keeps getting
What I’m wishing for
Why can’t I be as lucky
As those other people are
I guess I must be wishing
On someone else’s star

I sit here in the dark
And stare up at the sky
But I can’t give my heart
One good reason why
Everywhere I look
It’s lovers that I see
It seems like everyone’s in love
With everyone but me

I guess I must be wishing on
Someone else’s star
It seems like someone else keeps getting
What I’m wishing for
Why can’t I be as lucky
As those other people are
I guess I must be wishing
On someone else’s star

Why can’t I be as lucky
As those other people are
Oh, I guess I must be wishing
On someone else’s star

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBp1ugUZ2mE>


This is for those discouraging moments when it feels like all the good stuff is happening to everyone else but me. I've had a few of those lately, but then I'm reminded that it all has to be for a reason and it's going to be worth the wait. 
__________________________________________________________________
"While I'm Waiting
John Waller


I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y>


I had told my friend, Viviyan, about my little proposition or vow yesterday about just focusing on God and not letting distractions get in the way. This morning, she text me about this song she had heard and thought was perfect for my situation. I gave it a listen and completely agreed with her. This is my most current theme song. That's another beautiful thing about music; no matter what situation or moment we're faced with, there's a song for it. 


That's all for now,
Shelby
xoxox

February 23, 2012

John Tucker Must Die-Scott (Penn Badgley)


I'm convinced that Penn Badgley's character, Scott, in John Tucker Must Die represents perfect boyfriend material. He's the typical underrated, best friend who wants to treat the girl with respect. He's the indie/coffeehouse kid who's interested in the same things the girl, but not obnoxiously so. He still has his own opinions about it, and she would tell him hers. He's sort of the nerd, but he's so charming and witty you quickly forget that he's the "underdog," especially when his brother is player, John Tucker.



I don't watch Gilmore Girls, and for some reason I've never been much of a Penn Badgley fan. However, I've been seeing more of his work (John Tucker, Easy A, and a cameo he made on What I Like About You), and I'm impressed with him. There's something about him that just really warms you up to him. Plus, he's a cutie so that doesn't hurt ;).

That's all for now,
Shelby

One Tree Hill Season 9

This season has been leaving us on the edge of our seats week after week, wondering what's going to happen next! With the first episode, there were a lot of unanswered questions, like, who's under the sheet? Why is Clay acting like that? Why is Julian getting the snot beat out of him? How does Nathan Scott get kidnapped? See what I mean. Little by little, Mark Schwann has been giving us those answers.

Last night's episode was one of the best! I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that Austin Nichols directed it; he's a genius and a visionary (both great qualities to have). First, there was the return of Lucas Scott (Chad Michael Murray), which I was extremely excited about because he is amazing. Anyway, I loved the scenes between he and Haley; I always loved their friendship and wish I had a "Lucas" looking after me.




I wish he would've been back for more of the season, but at least he came back right? He was just there to help Haley with the kids, so she doesn't feel so much pressure with Nathan missing and everything. It's good to see Quinn looking after Haley; usually Haley is the one we see that has it all together, but it's nice to see that she's being looked after right now. As far as Nathan's story line...I totally saw it coming with the cop. I wanted to believe the best, but let's be honest, you knew that was going to happen. Nathan is seriously strong...he has survived all kinds of crap through the nine years Haha.
I love how Dan is finally stepping up and acting like the dad he should've been all along. I also love when he sees those really sweet moments between Jamie and Nathan, to see what he missed out on. I really hope we get to see the redemption of his and Nathan's relationship. After so long, the characters deserve that much. You can tell Dan is changing and I think it's time for the rest of the gang to see that and truly give him a chance (it is the last season after all).

Moving along to Brooke, I totally did not see anything with Xavier coming up at all. I loved what she told him in the court room about forgiveness and how she explained it to Julian prior to that. I'm both excited and really nervous to see what the rest of that holds for the Baker family...GULP! Julian is so protective over her, without being the clingy controlling husband. They are seriously becoming a tie with Naley for me. 


Over all, I was seriously impressed with this episode and by the previews for next week, things won't be slowing down anytime soon. AHHHHHHH!

What were your thoughts on this episode? Feel free to tweet me or comment below!

That's all for now,
Shelby :)


February 22, 2012

So, there was this guy...

"Straight out of some story
You walked in in all your glory
I thought you were perfect for me
I was outta my mind
Looked like I was winning
It was the best love I'd ever been in
Just when we were beginning
The end you left me behind
I was looking forward to a happy ending
So much for pretending

I should have known better
Than to think of happy ever after
You and me together
I was outta my league
I kept my heart hidden
Now I'm wishing that I didn't
Oh who am I kid din
You weren't even intrigued
I was looking forward to a happy ending
So much for pretending"
~Bryan White~

Alright, there is this guy. I'm honestly not quite sure why I'm expressing it via my blog, but oh well, what have I really got to lose? He seemed to have all the qualities that I was looking for in someone...and still does, he hasn't changed. That's not why I'm writing this. I haven't stopped liking him; I wish it were that easy, believe me. But, lately, I've been hearing God sort of saying, "Not now!" And let me just say, I have a hard time waiting. When there's something I want, I've always been extremely demanding and impatient. I want it now or forget it, I'll just move on. Lately, I've been working on that. I guess part of me thought it was because what I wanted was just right around the corner, and now I have no idea when it's coming, if at all.

In the midst of pulling back, I've also been hearing, "just give it time. I'm saying no right now, but that doesn't mean forever. Wait and see how things go further down the line before you start trying to change your mind." With me, it's now or never. But, something tells me this particular thing will be worth the wait.  Whoever a relationship might be with down the line. Honestly, what's the rush? Right now, I have a full life without a guy and I should focus on that. I need to focus on my relationship with God first and foremost and what He wants for me. I have dreams I want to pursue, that I've always put off and this is the time to go for them. I need to get my license and I want to get a job, while still going to school full time. I have plenty to keep me busy, and when there's down time I spend it with the girls doing crazy girl stuff like stargazing or going out to dinner.

I'm perfectly fine without a guy. I need to be fine without a guy. I don't want to be so distracted in looking for the answers, that I lose focus of God, because I just want things to go my way. For the first time in my life, I actually feel like I'm ready and would know how to be in a relationship. So much more than the last time, because I know way more about myself and what I want in life. I thought I did back then, but looking back I see how wrong I was about that. Now, it's all just a matter of God's timing and planning. He is the ultimate guy to go to for that, so I'm trusting Him.

That's all for now,
Shelby
xoxox

Trust

You try to handle it all on your own
But when will you learn?
That you need someone to hold you through the night?
I was trying to be there for you
But all you do is push me away
We were gonna get through this thing together
But you didn't want me to stay
So I walked out
Cuz you needed to do some things for you
Just know that I'll be there waiting

Everyone needs someone to lean on in the rain
Everyone needs someone to help them through the pain
If you'd just knock that wall down and let me in
I can try to make things okay again
But you just have to learn...to trust

You drive everyone away that you care about
Cause you're afraid of being hurt again
If you ever want to really love someone
You're gonna have to get over it
We can make it work
But only if we're in this together

Whenever you need me
I'll be by your side
I'll be the one to hold you when you cry
And I'll be the one holding you to get you through the night

~Shelby Nicole

Former Feelings

I was looking through some of my old poems, songs, journals and other things I'd written a couple years ago when I realized how much I've changed. The girl in those entries was miserable. She was insecure, lonely, bitter, and just always looking for something more. She felt like she didn't fit in and should've been born at a different time.

Here's something I wrote:
"I'm lonely a lot more than people would think. I don't mean lonely like there's no one around or no one cares, necessarily. I just feel it more inside and sometimes I wonder if I secretly like the way that feels because it comes up often." I quoted some lyrics from Kelly Clarkson's 'What's Up Lonely?' song, then continued with ,"I'm good at hiding the fact that I'm lonely. No one really knows. I mean sure, I tell people things obviously, but I don't like the subject of loneliness. It makes me feel vulnerable, and I don't like the way that makes me feel."

Looking back now with a different perspective, things were never really as bad as I made them out to be. I feel bad for the girl writing all that stuff, because there was so much to be seen and so many opportunities that could have been hers. She missed all the signals and signs....but, you know what? Everything happens for a reason. It all led me here, and I wouldn't trade any of it for anything. I made the decisions I did for a reason, even if I don't fully understand that right now. I can't hold onto any of that anymore. I'm the happiest I've ever been :) I have God to thank for that.

That's all for now,
Shelby
xoxox

I Was Here by Lady Antebellum

I'm pretty much obsessed with this song and have been posting the lyrics everywhere since yesterday. This is my song! I feel like in some weird way it was written just for me (which of course it wasn't lol). That's the beautiful thing about music; it can connect people all over the world to feel like that song was written about them, for them, to them....and that has always been one major way that God has spoken to me. I get confirmation through song. This is my theme song for the year!


Lyrics:
You will notice me
I'll be leaving my mark like initials carved
In an old oak tree, you wait and see

Maybe I'll write like Twain wrote
Maybe I'll paint like Van Gogh
Cure the common cold, I don't know
But I'm ready start 'cause I know in my heart

I wanna do something that matters, say something different
Something that sets the whole world on its ear
I wanna do something better with the time I've been given
I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
Leave nothing less than something that says ?I was here?

I will prove you wrong
If you think I'm all talk, you're in for a shock
'Cause this dream's too strong and before too long

Maybe I'll compose symphonies
Maybe I'll fight for world peace
'Cause I know it's my destiny
To leave more than a trace of myself in this place!

I wanna do something that matters, say something different
Something that sets the whole world on its ear
I wanna do something better with the time I've been given
I wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
And leave nothing less than something that says ?I was here?

And I know that I, I will do more than just pass through this life
I'll leave nothing less than something that says ?I was here?
I was here


Here's the video, if you want to check it out: 
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XZ12nrz47U)

Wednesday!

I'm Ready For Nashville In June!