"Then Jesus said, 'If? There are no 'ifs' among believers. Anything can happen!" (Mark 9:23)
This hit me right away. Bottom line, we shouldn't doubt God and that's something I've really been working on lately. Instead of trying to control things myself, I have to step back and let God do His thing. Just believing that whatever is meant to happen will. He knows all things and sees the road blocks that I can't...so if something doesn't work out the way I'd planned, there's a reason for it. While I was writing this in my journal, something else came to me...Believe in me. Have faith in me. I will pull you through, and I felt like God was saying that to all of us, no matter what situation we may be in.
Don't just assume that because something doesn't work out right when you want it to, that it's doesn't mean it's completely dead forever. Just trust God and see what He does with it. God is telling all of us that if He says He's going to do something, then He's going to come through. We just have to believe in Him. Learn to wait on God, because it'll be the perfect timing, rather than learning the hard way on our own.
As I sat there listening to everyone's stories and struggles, I realized that I'm not alone. We're all dealing with crap in our lives and I'm so thankful that once a week we can all come together and share what we're going through. It's such a stress reliever to know you have that support system around you, and I'm so blessed to have met all the incredible people that I now call friends. I never would have imagined some of the people I've been getting to know. I learned so much tonight and I feel at peace.
After we all went around and said how we felt about the chapter (Mark 9), we prayed together. I asked for prayer about tomorrow...I have to go to my great uncle Bud's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, because they live in Fresno and we don't get up there very often, but he was an incredible man of God, that much I do know. He was so kind and generous of his time, love and resources. He had one of the biggest hearts of anyone I've ever known and seemed to get along with everyone. As Chris was praying over me/my family, he said that I was/would be beautifully outspoken about my love for Christ tomorrow. He prayed that I would be a light and bring hope and represent what it means to be in a real relationship with Christ for my relatives that don't know him. That's exactly what I hope and pray to do tomorrow. This isn't the end, this is just the beginning. I hope to bring light to the situation that I know really and truly sucks. You know it's part of life, but it doesn't make sense when you're going through it. It's dark and painful..but it does get easier as you grieve and process exactly what's going on. Don't shut off your emotions, but allow yourself to feel and express what you're going through.
I really began to feel the Lord's peace and presence after that. Sometimes all you need is a little prayer and to let your friends know how you're feeling about things. It makes all the difference.
That's all for now,