April 7, 2012

Blame It On My Sensitive Heart

"Perhaps we all give our hearts uncritically to those who hardly think about us in return."
T.H White

There's nothing worse than feeling alone. Actually, yes, there is! It's knowing that you have friends and still having that feeling that you're completely alone; left out.

I get this way a lot, and I guess no one's to blame really. But, I just wonder...why do people say they care if they really make no effort to stay in your life? Then, I start thinking a little deeper. I have an extremely sensitive soul. I take everything  that goes on around me to heart whether it's something I'm dealing with or not. I have to take that into consideration and the fact that my schedule is much more flexible. Basically all of my closest friends have jobs, boyfriends, a tough workload at school, and just a lot of other things that take up their time. I, on the other hand, basically only have school a couple days a week and the rest is pretty much optional for me. It just seems that I'm always the one forcing things or encouraging get together's, while getting nothing in return. Maybe I burned those bridges long ago when I didn't want to hang out, but instead wanted to stay inside my own little bubble; some could say karma.

But, then time is thrown into the equation. T-I-M-E. We make time for the things we care about most, right? When we don't, it's usually because of same lame-o excuse. I know I've done that in the past, just to get out of something I didn't want to do. And that's what it feels like when you don't speak to certain people in your life that you were once so very close to. I understand you have priorities, but You grow apart and you move onto other things, but it shouldn't be so hard to keep in contact should it? *sigh*

Alas, life is not that simple. And this continues to happen. I guess I should be happy with who is in my life right now, and not wish for what is no longer. Honestly, I've never been happier, but that doesn't mean I don't miss those that I used to be so incredibly close with. I guess this is all just part of growing up. There will be people that come and go, and seasons that bring about different changes. Nothing ever stays the same, isn't that what they always say? Better start getting used to it. 

That's all for now,

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