November 18, 2011

This Picture Kind of Makes Me Sad
This picture makes me sad for a couple of reasons. 1) When we're little, everyone around us is telling us we can be anything we want to be and to shoot for the moon; so we grow up to believe that. Then, as we get older, those same people are the ones trying to reel us back in from the crazy dreams we have, because they aren't "realistic". What is that exactly? 2) I know what I want, but all of a sudden, I have no idea how to get there. Or I do and I'm just really scared. I'm scared that I could be really good, or I'm afraid of failing. Either way, I'm limiting myself...staying comfortable, and not wanting to break out of the same four walls that I've known my entire life. I'm scared of the unknown, the unfamiliar, and falling flat on my face.

I'm a dreamer by nature; I don't give up if I really want something. I'm persistent, and I usually get what I want. But then there's that dream I've had since I was five years old. Honestly, I thought by now it would have happened. Because back then, everything seemed so simple. You had a dream, you make it happen...BOOM, you're in! And then I graduated high school; it has almost been two years since I've been out, and I feel no closer to reaching that goal than I was before. And everyday that passes, I see people my age making their dreams come true...DOING something about what they want, and making it happen. What's making me so afraid to just take an internship or to apply for a job, etc?

This picture makes me sad for the dreams I have that are just floating up in the air right now. The ones that I've put on hold or I'm too afraid to jump into. I just have to trust God; that's a really scary thing to give Him complete control, but ultimately I know I will be better for it.

That's all,
xoxo Shelby

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