•Put God first
•Let go: of the past, the future, of dreams...just live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering
•Take it all in
•To not be so attached to my phone (I.e-Facebook and Twitter)
•Don't be afraid to LIVE
•Try a new dish at each of my favorite restaurants
•To not be so hard on myself and others
•To not complain as much
•To believe in myself more and not focus on my screw ups so much
•Be positive!!
•Get back into acting
•Keep my room clean
•Volunteer more (at church, in the community, etc.)
•Focus on what I do have, instead of what I don't
•To learn to really love again
•Hope for the best, expect the worst
•To not be so anxious or worried about what's to come
•Finish reading Shania Twain's book
•Get back to working on mine and Steph's blog (so we can pass the word onto Chad Michael Murray...cuz he's cool like that ;)
•Basically to take life as it comes this year rather than having all sorts of unrealistic expectations.
Things I'm looking forward to this year:
*Team True Beauty dinner next weekend
*Season 9 premiere of One Tree Hill
*Turning 20
*Possibly going to a Tim Tebow luncheon/speech
*Alabama concert this summer
*Possibly going to Nashville again
*Hopefully graduating from my community college in December...
It's gonna be a great year... I can feel it! :)
January 1, 2012
December 31, 2011
This Week In Photos
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| Braving the mall on Monday to help mom find a dress |
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| I got the bright idea we should make Macaroni for lunch |
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| YUM! |
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| Mom hung up her Keith Urban picture on the wall, next to Brad Paisley ;) |
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| This was what I did most of the time... |
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| Lots of cough drops, thanks to this cold |
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| New journal |
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| I made a New Years book a few weeks ago, but now was the time to bring it out again! |
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| Yesterday |
One of My Favorite New Year Memories
Back in 2008, I went to a friends house for New Year's Eve where we ate, talked, and had a dancing party with glow in the dark bracelets and necklaces. I most vividly remember dancing to Katy Perry's "Hot and Cold", because that was pretty much the major hit at the time. It was a blast!
New Years Day, my family and I (my parents and grandma) drove to Las Vegas to meet up with our family in Utah. I have never laughed so hard in my life, driving up and down the strip. WOW! That i is definitely something I will never forget. Especially because that would be the last trip my grandma would ever take with us. In January of the following year, she was diagnosed with Cancer, which was really hard on all of us. Looking back at this trip was more than just getting out of town for me. It reminded me that you never know what life is going to throw at you, so be prepared. And in the meantime, let your loved ones know how much you care about them. It will be one of the best trips I've ever taken for the rest of my life.
Have a wonderful New Year's Eve, and tell those around you that you love them :)
With love,
Shelby
xoxox
December 30, 2011
2011: A Year In Review w/my best friend Laurie
What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before? With my various travels this year I got to add a few states to my list. I visited Idaho, Nebraska, Tennessee, and Alabama for the first time, to name a few.
What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? I'd like to have a greater love and trust in God. I hope to love people more than I have in the past.
What was your biggest achievement of the year? I think making new friends and finding a church at school were two important accomplishments. On a lighter note, I think driving to California from Michigan in two days was pretty impressive.
Biggest failure? Unfortunately, I lost a lot of faith in people which resulted in a deep feeling of loneliness throughout a lot of the year. I feel like I lost time because I was disappointed and didn't love others like I could/should have.
Best thing someone bought you? Though not very exciting, my parents helping me pay for my undergraduate degree at school is the best gift. I think that's the best because I have grown so much as a person since I've been there, and I'm learning so much.
What did you get really, really, really excited about? I got really excited for the multiple shows, concerts, and games I went to. I got to see Anberlin and The Civil Wars in concert (two of my favorite bands), I saw Brian Regan live, and I got to go to a Boise St. football game--Go Broncos!
What songs will always remind you of 2011? Any song by the Civil Wars, Mumford and Sons, the Avett Brothers. They are all amazing, and I have a lot of memories rocking out with friends with these songs.
What do you wish you had done more? Less? I wish I relaxed and trusted God more with a lot of the drama I dealt with and worried less.
How do you plan to spend New years eve? I haven't figured that out yet! I'll either be hanging out with my family or some friends.
Favorite tv program? I don't watch too much tv, but I like watching Say Yes to the Dress or Glee.
Greatest musical discovery? This year's would probably be the Avett Brothers.
What did you want and get? I began this school year wanting to expand my friend group at school. I was able to meet so many amazing friends that I didn't know before.
What did you want and not get? I can't really think of anything. I guess a higher GPA? haha
What did you do on your birthday? I bummed around and ran errands with my mom!
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in
2011? In college I just wear what's comfortable. I have, however, tried to dress up more at school so I wore a lot of cardigans and blouses and more dresses. My concept would have to be... be comfortable and classy.
What kept you sane? God, amazing friends at school and back home, and lots of naps.
What was the best thing you ate? Anything homemade by my mother is the best. I love coming home from school for that reason!
Tell a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011? People are going to disappoint--Trust God and love others. Also, I learned some friends aren't meant to stay in your life a long time, so enjoy the time they are and rely more on the friends you know will stick with you.
Quote a song lyrics that sums up your year.
" So far away from where you are
I'm standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here" --Lifehouse
What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011? I'd like to have a greater love and trust in God. I hope to love people more than I have in the past.
What was your biggest achievement of the year? I think making new friends and finding a church at school were two important accomplishments. On a lighter note, I think driving to California from Michigan in two days was pretty impressive.
Biggest failure? Unfortunately, I lost a lot of faith in people which resulted in a deep feeling of loneliness throughout a lot of the year. I feel like I lost time because I was disappointed and didn't love others like I could/should have.
Best thing someone bought you? Though not very exciting, my parents helping me pay for my undergraduate degree at school is the best gift. I think that's the best because I have grown so much as a person since I've been there, and I'm learning so much.
What did you get really, really, really excited about? I got really excited for the multiple shows, concerts, and games I went to. I got to see Anberlin and The Civil Wars in concert (two of my favorite bands), I saw Brian Regan live, and I got to go to a Boise St. football game--Go Broncos!
What songs will always remind you of 2011? Any song by the Civil Wars, Mumford and Sons, the Avett Brothers. They are all amazing, and I have a lot of memories rocking out with friends with these songs.
What do you wish you had done more? Less? I wish I relaxed and trusted God more with a lot of the drama I dealt with and worried less.
How do you plan to spend New years eve? I haven't figured that out yet! I'll either be hanging out with my family or some friends.
Favorite tv program? I don't watch too much tv, but I like watching Say Yes to the Dress or Glee.
Greatest musical discovery? This year's would probably be the Avett Brothers.
What did you want and get? I began this school year wanting to expand my friend group at school. I was able to meet so many amazing friends that I didn't know before.
What did you want and not get? I can't really think of anything. I guess a higher GPA? haha
What did you do on your birthday? I bummed around and ran errands with my mom!
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in
2011? In college I just wear what's comfortable. I have, however, tried to dress up more at school so I wore a lot of cardigans and blouses and more dresses. My concept would have to be... be comfortable and classy.
What kept you sane? God, amazing friends at school and back home, and lots of naps.
What was the best thing you ate? Anything homemade by my mother is the best. I love coming home from school for that reason!
Tell a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011? People are going to disappoint--Trust God and love others. Also, I learned some friends aren't meant to stay in your life a long time, so enjoy the time they are and rely more on the friends you know will stick with you.
Quote a song lyrics that sums up your year.
" So far away from where you are
I'm standing underneath the stars
And I wish you were here" --Lifehouse
2011: A Year In Review
I got on Chelsea Kane's blog today, and saw that she had posted a survey about New Year's, so I thought I would try it. Here it is!
1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
Joined the worship team at church, put myself out there more to meet new people, started going to Bible study, and I started working past a lot of garbage in my life.
2. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
My license! I keep saying I'm going to get it, and then I just never do.
3. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Passing speech with an A, and finally feeling comfortable with public speaking. I never would've imagined that.
4. Biggest failure?
Probably getting mad over stupid things, or arguing with my parents over something that didn't matter anyway.
5. Best thing someone bought you?
Anything that my friends would pick up for me on trips, and my MAC desktop that my parents got me for Christmas!!!!!
6. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to the American Idol finale, finally seeing the Jonas Brothers in concert, the Taylor Swift Speak Now tour, and meeting Ashley Tisdale and Corbin Bleu from High School Musical (that was a Jr Hi dream come true).
7.What songs will always remind you of 2011?
I Love You This Big, Firework, Skyscraper, and Baby...I'm sure there are more though.
8. What do you wish you had done more?
I wish I had been more diligent with practicing the guitar.
9. What do you wish you had done less?
I wish I wouldn't have spent so much time on Facebook and Twitter I guess, and would have just lived in the moment a little more.
10. How do you plan to spend New Year's Eve?
I still don't have any definite plans at the moment, but it will either be spent with friends or family, and that's all I need to know :)
11. Favorite TV program?
That easily became One Tree Hill. I also really like The New Girl.
12. Greatest musical discovery?
Everly and Eden's Edge.
13. What did you want and get?
I wanted to go to the Idol Finale and a Mac...I got both of those wishes. I also wanted to meet new people/make new friends, and I definitely got that :)
14.What did you want and not get?
A boyfriend....Hahahah. I did not get that, but that's more than alright.
15. What did you do on your birthday?
Turning 19 was such a weird age; it's your last year to be a teen, so it was exciting in that aspect. However, it's not really one of those birthdays that you do anything for. I pretty much just hung out with my mom that day and went to dinner at Outback with my parents that night.
16. What would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
I'm not really sure that I have a specific "style", as much as I wish I did. I guess I'd call it "College Girl Chic". I also really like to find celebrity outfits and put my own spin on them!
17. What kept you sane?
God; I did a lot more talking to God this year. And also my best friends! They'd listen to my rants and frustrations, and I love them so much for that.
18. What was the best thing you ate?
I've had a lot of good food this year, so it's hard to narrow it down. I'd have to say Biscoff peanut butter takes the cake, though. It's delicious!
19. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011?
I've learned that you can't please everyone, and not everyone is going to like you. You just have to be yourself, and the ones that matter most to you will always be by your side. I also learned that you can't always rely on people, but God will be there for you no matter what. I was able to forgive and to accept who I am now and to be comfortable in my own skin. Also, be careful of who you give your heart too, because you never know what they'll do with it. (Not just my experiences with that, but others I've seen around me as well).
20. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
There's always a song that fits a different mood, so I could think of plenty, but these are the two that come to mind at the moment.
"I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately..." -Gavin DeGraw (Not just because of getting into One Tree Hill either. It's always been a favorite song of mine).
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller, doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone."
-Kelly Clarkson-
1. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
Joined the worship team at church, put myself out there more to meet new people, started going to Bible study, and I started working past a lot of garbage in my life.
2. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
My license! I keep saying I'm going to get it, and then I just never do.
3. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Passing speech with an A, and finally feeling comfortable with public speaking. I never would've imagined that.
4. Biggest failure?
Probably getting mad over stupid things, or arguing with my parents over something that didn't matter anyway.
5. Best thing someone bought you?
Anything that my friends would pick up for me on trips, and my MAC desktop that my parents got me for Christmas!!!!!
6. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to the American Idol finale, finally seeing the Jonas Brothers in concert, the Taylor Swift Speak Now tour, and meeting Ashley Tisdale and Corbin Bleu from High School Musical (that was a Jr Hi dream come true).
7.What songs will always remind you of 2011?
I Love You This Big, Firework, Skyscraper, and Baby...I'm sure there are more though.
8. What do you wish you had done more?
I wish I had been more diligent with practicing the guitar.
9. What do you wish you had done less?
I wish I wouldn't have spent so much time on Facebook and Twitter I guess, and would have just lived in the moment a little more.
10. How do you plan to spend New Year's Eve?
I still don't have any definite plans at the moment, but it will either be spent with friends or family, and that's all I need to know :)
11. Favorite TV program?
That easily became One Tree Hill. I also really like The New Girl.
12. Greatest musical discovery?
Everly and Eden's Edge.
13. What did you want and get?
I wanted to go to the Idol Finale and a Mac...I got both of those wishes. I also wanted to meet new people/make new friends, and I definitely got that :)
14.What did you want and not get?
A boyfriend....Hahahah. I did not get that, but that's more than alright.
15. What did you do on your birthday?
Turning 19 was such a weird age; it's your last year to be a teen, so it was exciting in that aspect. However, it's not really one of those birthdays that you do anything for. I pretty much just hung out with my mom that day and went to dinner at Outback with my parents that night.
16. What would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
I'm not really sure that I have a specific "style", as much as I wish I did. I guess I'd call it "College Girl Chic". I also really like to find celebrity outfits and put my own spin on them!
17. What kept you sane?
God; I did a lot more talking to God this year. And also my best friends! They'd listen to my rants and frustrations, and I love them so much for that.
18. What was the best thing you ate?
I've had a lot of good food this year, so it's hard to narrow it down. I'd have to say Biscoff peanut butter takes the cake, though. It's delicious!
19. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011?
I've learned that you can't please everyone, and not everyone is going to like you. You just have to be yourself, and the ones that matter most to you will always be by your side. I also learned that you can't always rely on people, but God will be there for you no matter what. I was able to forgive and to accept who I am now and to be comfortable in my own skin. Also, be careful of who you give your heart too, because you never know what they'll do with it. (Not just my experiences with that, but others I've seen around me as well).
20. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
There's always a song that fits a different mood, so I could think of plenty, but these are the two that come to mind at the moment.
"I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately..." -Gavin DeGraw (Not just because of getting into One Tree Hill either. It's always been a favorite song of mine).
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller, doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone."
-Kelly Clarkson-
"Sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know. Or pushing people down to get you where you want to go."~Taylor Swift~
Dear bullies of the world,
What makes you think you are better than the rest of us? That you're entitled to whatever it is you want, and that if someone else gets what you want, they aren't deserving, and that you are above everyone else? Because news flash: the world owes you nothing, and people owe you nothing. We all have the same opportunities to make what we want happen... It doesn't mean you should take others down to make yourself feel better.
Can you answer something for me? Good. What happened in your life that makes you cause people so much agony, pain, or even death threats? Is your life really that bad that it has come to that? Haven't you heard of all the suicides this year thanks to cyber bullying and bullying at schools? Words are a powerful thing; they can be a best friend or a worst enemy. The choice is yours.
I think we've all dealt with bullies in our lives at some point or another. How we respond to that says a lot about us. I've been "bullied" by people, and for some time I became a bully. Not in the same sense, necessarily, but I've used my words in harsh ways, because of what people had done to me. Hurt people hurt people; it's a vicious cycle. I have forgiven those people, and I've learned to move on from it. Why let them have the power now, so many years later?
I understand there are going to be people that you don't get along with or don't like, but setting out to sabotage someone because of appearance, material things, opportunities, or whatever it is that YOU don't like is not a good enough reason.
It's sad that all we hear in the media today is all the hate and bitterness in the world. You see how crazy this world has really become. So much so, that we forget about how beauty is still out there; how there are still good people in this world that love and show kindness with the smallest of gestures. It's important that we remember the good things, instead of focusing on the bad. We get enough of that. Why not encourage more and throw out positive language rather than negative?
If you're being bullied, I encourage you to talk to someone about it, so that extra measures can be taken, or you will at least feel like you're not alone. Most importantly, remember, you are loved and you are important. I don't care what the people at school or online are telling you, you are worthy of life and becoming something really great! I know it's hard right now, and this may sound cliche, but things get better. Some of the most successful people today, like Taylor Swift, were bullied. Look at where she is today! You can use your life and experiences to help others around you. If you are a bully, then my advice to you is just stop...for the sake of others, and yourself!
Don't let other people control your happiness. Know who you are and stand up for what you believe in. Remember that you have family and friends who love you and will be there for you during the hard times. Oh, and listen to "Mean" by Taylor Swift. That'll put things into perspective!
Also, another thing Taylor Swift has to say about this matter, "Never believe anyone who says you don't deserve what you want."
With love,
Shelby <3
Xoxox
What makes you think you are better than the rest of us? That you're entitled to whatever it is you want, and that if someone else gets what you want, they aren't deserving, and that you are above everyone else? Because news flash: the world owes you nothing, and people owe you nothing. We all have the same opportunities to make what we want happen... It doesn't mean you should take others down to make yourself feel better.
Can you answer something for me? Good. What happened in your life that makes you cause people so much agony, pain, or even death threats? Is your life really that bad that it has come to that? Haven't you heard of all the suicides this year thanks to cyber bullying and bullying at schools? Words are a powerful thing; they can be a best friend or a worst enemy. The choice is yours.
I think we've all dealt with bullies in our lives at some point or another. How we respond to that says a lot about us. I've been "bullied" by people, and for some time I became a bully. Not in the same sense, necessarily, but I've used my words in harsh ways, because of what people had done to me. Hurt people hurt people; it's a vicious cycle. I have forgiven those people, and I've learned to move on from it. Why let them have the power now, so many years later?
I understand there are going to be people that you don't get along with or don't like, but setting out to sabotage someone because of appearance, material things, opportunities, or whatever it is that YOU don't like is not a good enough reason.
It's sad that all we hear in the media today is all the hate and bitterness in the world. You see how crazy this world has really become. So much so, that we forget about how beauty is still out there; how there are still good people in this world that love and show kindness with the smallest of gestures. It's important that we remember the good things, instead of focusing on the bad. We get enough of that. Why not encourage more and throw out positive language rather than negative?
If you're being bullied, I encourage you to talk to someone about it, so that extra measures can be taken, or you will at least feel like you're not alone. Most importantly, remember, you are loved and you are important. I don't care what the people at school or online are telling you, you are worthy of life and becoming something really great! I know it's hard right now, and this may sound cliche, but things get better. Some of the most successful people today, like Taylor Swift, were bullied. Look at where she is today! You can use your life and experiences to help others around you. If you are a bully, then my advice to you is just stop...for the sake of others, and yourself!
Don't let other people control your happiness. Know who you are and stand up for what you believe in. Remember that you have family and friends who love you and will be there for you during the hard times. Oh, and listen to "Mean" by Taylor Swift. That'll put things into perspective!
Also, another thing Taylor Swift has to say about this matter, "Never believe anyone who says you don't deserve what you want."
With love,
Shelby <3
Xoxox
Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012!
2011 was the year of no regrets. I feel like I said everything I needed to say, when it needed to be said, and I feel like I did everything I wanted to or needed to. I stepped out of my comfort zone a lot more and God helped me find the confidence in myself that I needed. I'm finding my voice and I feel like I was finally able to start speaking up for myself without feeling like a total weasel or you know what.
I dealt with a lot of skeletons in my closet of past hurts, mistakes, and I finally let go of them. None of us are perfect, and I shouldn't beat myself up over things for the rest of my life. Acknowledge the mistake, learn from it, and move on is my new motto.
I'm praying that someone special comes along very soon (because there was no one like that this year), but I'm learning not to rush it. When the right one comes along, I've learned that I won't feel so much stress...it'll just work out and make sense. I'm finally maturing and figuring out who I need to be. God knows my desires and what my heart wants, and He knows the best timing. Until then I need to just chill and let the master do His thing.
This year, I tried new things. I tried some new food, had new experiences, and it was wonderful. It gave me a sense of accomplishment, rather than sitting around feeling mopey and wondering what could have been.
There were a lot of people that faded out of my life this year, or I just started realizing that things just aren't what they used to be, and instead of holding onto those memories; I let them go. But, as these people were fading out, God sent some wonderful new people into my life. Now, they will never replace the others, and I wouldn't want them to. But, He saw that I needed friends in my own way, and I feel like that has also brought me closer to Him in the long run. In the couple months that I have known them now (and I've talked about them quite a bit on here), we've been having an absolute blast. Relationships are a very precious thing to me and aren't something I take lightly. I think I've taken them for granted in the past at times, and how blessed I've been with the people that love and support me. Relationships with God and people are the most important things in the world, and I hope that this coming year I will learn to love deeply and passionately, more than I ever before. That instead of "talking" about doing it, I would show people in the way I act.
I'm finding that dreams change; don't limit yourself, because God can bring up all sorts of crazy scenarios that you never thought possible. It's okay if things don't turn out exactly the way you've always dreamed of. Maybe I'll never see my name in lights, but maybe I'll make an impact on this world in other ways. As long as I'm following God's plan, that's all I need. That's what I consider successful.
I've learned to be okay with who I am and how I look. My appearance doesn't define me. The world might judge me on that, but God, my family and friends (the ones that matter) don't. I'm probably never gonna be a size two, though I've honestly never tried. But honestly, I like having a little meat on my bones. It makes me REAL. I'm finding out what true beauty is everyday. This world is extremely fickle and the one thing I can always count on is God. He never leaves me, always believes in me, and always pulls me through whatever situation I'm faced with, even when I'm doubting Him. But, that has taught me not to do just that. He knows what He's doing.
I've found a courage in myself this year that I never thought I could have. All of a sudden speaking in front of people doesn't seem so bad. Being that I'm a communications/Journalism major, you would think that wouldn't be a problem, but public speaking has never been my forte; I was always the "shy, quiet" one. Over the years, I have come out of my shell a lot. The idea of walking into a room full of strangers doesn't make me as anxious as it used to, and I can speak a lot more confidently off the cuff. This year, speaking actually became something I'm comfortable with and could see myself enjoying as part of my profession. Do I still feel like I'm going to pass out every time I walk to the front of the room? Absolutely. But, it's so worth it after the fact. It's more of a good kind of nervous this time around. You have no idea how excited that makes me.
2011 has been really good to me. I've had a lot of great experiences, some rocky moments. I've felt "depressed." I've been joyful. I've had moments of hate and bitterness. I've been loving and kind. I've lost people I thought once cared a lot about me and I've gained friends for life. I've hurt and I've healed. I've had a blast and I've been down. I've let things go and I've learned about ME. The older I get, the more I realize who I am and what I want out of life..
I think I'm gonna call 2012 the year of no expectations. The year of mystery, if you will. Sure, I have things I want to change, but as far as predictions and dreams I hope come true? I think I'm just gonna ride the wave on this one and see where I wash up. I'm not in control. If there's anything I've learned this year, it's that God is in the driver's seat, and I'm merely the passenger. So, let the Lord's will be done, and I'll be a happy camper!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! <3 (It's officially New Year's Eve Eve)
With love,
Shelby
xoxox
I dealt with a lot of skeletons in my closet of past hurts, mistakes, and I finally let go of them. None of us are perfect, and I shouldn't beat myself up over things for the rest of my life. Acknowledge the mistake, learn from it, and move on is my new motto.
I'm praying that someone special comes along very soon (because there was no one like that this year), but I'm learning not to rush it. When the right one comes along, I've learned that I won't feel so much stress...it'll just work out and make sense. I'm finally maturing and figuring out who I need to be. God knows my desires and what my heart wants, and He knows the best timing. Until then I need to just chill and let the master do His thing.
This year, I tried new things. I tried some new food, had new experiences, and it was wonderful. It gave me a sense of accomplishment, rather than sitting around feeling mopey and wondering what could have been.
There were a lot of people that faded out of my life this year, or I just started realizing that things just aren't what they used to be, and instead of holding onto those memories; I let them go. But, as these people were fading out, God sent some wonderful new people into my life. Now, they will never replace the others, and I wouldn't want them to. But, He saw that I needed friends in my own way, and I feel like that has also brought me closer to Him in the long run. In the couple months that I have known them now (and I've talked about them quite a bit on here), we've been having an absolute blast. Relationships are a very precious thing to me and aren't something I take lightly. I think I've taken them for granted in the past at times, and how blessed I've been with the people that love and support me. Relationships with God and people are the most important things in the world, and I hope that this coming year I will learn to love deeply and passionately, more than I ever before. That instead of "talking" about doing it, I would show people in the way I act.
I'm finding that dreams change; don't limit yourself, because God can bring up all sorts of crazy scenarios that you never thought possible. It's okay if things don't turn out exactly the way you've always dreamed of. Maybe I'll never see my name in lights, but maybe I'll make an impact on this world in other ways. As long as I'm following God's plan, that's all I need. That's what I consider successful.
I've learned to be okay with who I am and how I look. My appearance doesn't define me. The world might judge me on that, but God, my family and friends (the ones that matter) don't. I'm probably never gonna be a size two, though I've honestly never tried. But honestly, I like having a little meat on my bones. It makes me REAL. I'm finding out what true beauty is everyday. This world is extremely fickle and the one thing I can always count on is God. He never leaves me, always believes in me, and always pulls me through whatever situation I'm faced with, even when I'm doubting Him. But, that has taught me not to do just that. He knows what He's doing.
I've found a courage in myself this year that I never thought I could have. All of a sudden speaking in front of people doesn't seem so bad. Being that I'm a communications/Journalism major, you would think that wouldn't be a problem, but public speaking has never been my forte; I was always the "shy, quiet" one. Over the years, I have come out of my shell a lot. The idea of walking into a room full of strangers doesn't make me as anxious as it used to, and I can speak a lot more confidently off the cuff. This year, speaking actually became something I'm comfortable with and could see myself enjoying as part of my profession. Do I still feel like I'm going to pass out every time I walk to the front of the room? Absolutely. But, it's so worth it after the fact. It's more of a good kind of nervous this time around. You have no idea how excited that makes me.
2011 has been really good to me. I've had a lot of great experiences, some rocky moments. I've felt "depressed." I've been joyful. I've had moments of hate and bitterness. I've been loving and kind. I've lost people I thought once cared a lot about me and I've gained friends for life. I've hurt and I've healed. I've had a blast and I've been down. I've let things go and I've learned about ME. The older I get, the more I realize who I am and what I want out of life..
I think I'm gonna call 2012 the year of no expectations. The year of mystery, if you will. Sure, I have things I want to change, but as far as predictions and dreams I hope come true? I think I'm just gonna ride the wave on this one and see where I wash up. I'm not in control. If there's anything I've learned this year, it's that God is in the driver's seat, and I'm merely the passenger. So, let the Lord's will be done, and I'll be a happy camper!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! <3 (It's officially New Year's Eve Eve)
With love,
Shelby
xoxox
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