August 21, 2013

30 Day Challenge (Day 2 &3)

Describe 3 Legitimate Fears you have and explain how they became fears (Day Two):

* I'm afraid of being average. I'm afraid of not being remembered; that I'll meet people and won't have impacted their lives in any way or made a difference. I'm not exactly sure when this feeling started, it's just always been there in the back of my mind. I know that I'm on this earth for a greater plan than I can even imagine or wrap my mind around completely right now, but there are still some doubts that creep in every once in awhile that scare me out of thinking that I'll actually get to leave my mark on this world. When people don't remember that we've met, it's almost like a knife to the chest...I know that sounds dramatic, but it's one of my biggest insecurities. So, I'm trying to step out and do a little more to put myself on the map to keep my memory, and all that God has called me to do, alive!

*I'm afraid of meeting that one special person, only to have him ripped away when least expected. The first time I really remember feeling like this was even a possibility was when my pastors' niece had just gotten married and about a week later, he was killed in an accident. I couldn't understand how you can go from dreaming about the rest of your life with a significant other to planning a funeral...And how that can all be part of "the plan." I guess, maybe it's just something I wonder about in the back of my mind...Not that I'm necessarily paranoid about or anything, it's just one those things. Maybe I worry about it for other people too, especially with Cory Monteith and Lea Michele, not even having that chance to see what might have been. Those just break my heart.

*I guess this last one is what all of these fears boil down to...and that's being alone. I don't mean just feeling lonely, because I've been there before... Believing lies that are trying to make me think that no one cares or I don't have many friends, and that's just not true. I'm talking about ending up alone...No husband, no kids, friends moving away, the inevitable death of loved ones, etc. basically just really being alone. I've seen it happen to so many older people who are in retirement homes, and my heart just breaks for them. And I just wonder if that could be me someday. 

Describe your relationship with your parents (Day Three):

My parents are two of my best friends. I'm an only child, so I've always been extremely close with my them and have been able to talk with them when it comes to just about anything, and we figure something out together. We have our moments and we argue...But, I know at the end of the day they've got my back and I have theirs. In fact, most of the time, they're the ones I do most stuff with just because they're always ready for an adventure, whether it's trying to meet a celebrity, going to a concert, a random trip, playing a game, or whatever the case may be. They've both taught me different things and have given me different perspectives on life because of who each of them are. I don't know what I would do without them, because I definitely wouldn't be the person I am today without their guidance and support over the years. 

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