March 15, 2013

Moving On and Letting Go

"The kind of friendships we used to believe in. I miss that. And I miss you. I guess I just miss all of it." 
~One Tree Hill~
It seems like this story always go the same. You make a promise when you're 12 or 13 to your best friends at the time that you'll always be there for each forever, right? You're young and unaffected by the rest of the world, so that's all you know. And somewhere along the way, the promise is broken, without anyone realizing it. By the time that you do, it's too late to make up for lost time and you just have to pick up the pieces and move on. You have to make new friends and create new stories.

My story is no different. I always thought that certain people would be in my life forever, and I'm a person who wants to hope for the best and believe that things will change, and yet they never do. I always hold on to the fact that maybe people will start to care again, and things will just fall back into place. But, maybe they haven't changed. Maybe I did. Or maybe they've always been this way, I'm just waking up to what I need to do. It's something I battle with in my mind a lot.

Maybe I'm just reflecting more, because I'm at that spot in my life that my friends and I used to talk and daydream about all the time. How would things in college be? How would everyone change? What kind of jobs would we have? Just the normal questions that you think about growing up. Now, we're in college, heading towards the lives we've always talked about, only this time we're not sharing the experiences together, we're just reading about them on Facebook and seeing pictures of it on Instagram; on the outside looking in. Sometimes, I wonder if it would be better if there weren't social media sites, where you're up to the minute on everything that you're being left out of, because you might not care as much if you didn't know. I know I would. I wouldn't know when people are getting together without me, and I wouldn't be aware of the fact that they seem to have time for others, and not me.

There comes a time when you just have to stop letting it get to you, and I stopped long ago, when I realized nothing was changing. But, I just find myself still missing them. That's normal, right? And I probably sound like a broken record when I say this, but I'm tired of the fact that the time most want to talk to me is when they need something or when it's convenient. Instead of wishing that our story has some really fantastic ending, I'll just hold onto the really incredible moments we had, and I guess that's the part of letting go that makes it so hard, the incredible moments are the things that I'll never be able to put into words and are what helped make me into the person I am today. I wish there was another way around it, or that there really was a way to stay "friends forever", instead of just beautiful memories.

“It happens to everyone as they grow up. You find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you've known forever don't see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.”
― Nicholas Sparks

I saw this quote the other day, after having seen it several times before that, but I just needed to hear it again. This happens to everyone. I'm not the only one that has ever experienced this, so there's no reason to feel so down. The people that are in my life at this moment in time are here for a reason; God has brought people into my life whenever I've needed them, and I have to trust that. I might not see the reason why now, but further down the line, I'm sure I will.

That's all for now,

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