_________________________________________________________________________________
"As bad as it was
As bad as it hurt
I thank God I didn't get what I thought that I deserved
Sometimes life leads you down a different road
When you're holding onto someone, that you gotta let go
Someday you'll see the reason why
Sometimes, yeah, sometimes...
There's good in goodbye."
~Carrie Underwood~ <3
It
had been almost two years to the day since Brad and I had broken off
our engagement. I was sitting in a cafe in San Francisco, where I lived
while I was going to college. We had started dating our junior year in
high school to our senior year of college. All of our friends and family
knew it was just a matter of time before we were married and starting a
family of our own. On paper, we made perfect sense. We were the kind of
couple people would write characters about...but that was just the
problem. We were TOO perfect together. Neither of us ever felt that we
could be our complete self; we were walking on eggshells most of the
time, but we were too afraid to hurt the other.
I
was devastated. I thought we would grow old together, and that no
matter what I did or what happened, he would be by my side. Boy, was I
wrong about that one.
Like
I said, we'd been apart almost two years. The sting of the pain didn't
cut as deeply as it once had. I hear that he's engaged to a girl,Melissa, he had dated awhile back in high school. I was happy for him.
Really, I was...I am. But, did part of me still wish it was me or that I
was the one moving on without him? Absolutely.
Here
I was, sitting in that very same cafe. This time, I was working at the
San Francisco Chronicle full time and I was just on a short break, about
to get back to work. Ever since the engagement had been called off, I'd
found that I was able to occupy a lot of my time with writing and
editing. It was really good therapy for me, so I stuck with it. I was
eating a blueberry scone and drinking my chai latte, editing some
overdue work on my laptop. I had to get caught up or it would not be
very good for my career, we'll leave it at that.
I
finished my breakfast, and decided to head back to the office which was
just up the street. I sat down to get back to the article about The
Kardashian's I was writing. I work in the entertainment department, so I
get to cover all sorts of events from award shows and premieres to
concerts and movies. I'm always running from place to place. Guess it's a
good thing I have no one holding me back, right?
"Hey
Stacey," my boss came around the corner to my office,"I wanted to talk
to you about covering the American Idol finale in LA next week. Are you
available?"
"For
the finale? Heck yes!," I enthusiastically answered. I hadn't been
following too closely this season, but I had critiqued a few
performances and this would be a chance to interview some of the hottest
celeb's in Hollywood. Everyone shows up to this shindig.
"Okay,
I want a blog about the top 5 performances of the season sometime
before you go and when you get back, just pictures, videos and any
interviews you might get while you're out there."
"Alright, I can do that."
"I'll send you all the information in an e-mail bundle tonight."
"Is anyone else going with me?"
"Just Sheila! She'll be the videographer."
"Awesome!"
Sheila and I had started right around the same time as one another at
The Chronicle. We had instantly clicked when we discussed our love for
Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill and Country music. I was looking forward to
sharing this experience with her.
It
was now Tuesday night, a.k.a the day before leaving. Tomorrow, I would
be living it up in Los Angeles, while the contestants sing their hearts
out hoping for a victory. I had just finished up my blog on my favorite
performances and now it was time to finish packing. I had most of
everything packed, but I still needed to put in the toiletries, a
sweatshirt and some jeans. I went to my closet and pulled out a Juicy
sweatshirt, some True Religion's and grabbed my travel size kit from the
bathroom and zipped up my suitcase. I took a deep breath and flopped on
my bed to watch some Entertainment news before bed, when my phone rang.
"Hello?" I answered, pulling the covers on my Creme colored duvet cover down.
"Hey girl! Are you ready for the best week of our lives?" Sheila shouted into the receiver.
"Absolutely. I just finished everything I was supposed to do and now I'm hitting the hay!" I yawned almost on cue.
"Okay, I'll see you at seven tomorrow morning?"
"Yup! And we'll definitely be making a Starbucks run if we don't want to kill each other on the way to the airport."
"Agreed. Good night!"
My
alarm went off at five the next morning. I kept trying to open my eyes,
but it wasn't working; I tried to ignore the annoying sound of the
dinging that kept going off, but I knew I needed to get up. I turned on
the hot water in the shower and stepped in; turned around a few times,
scrubbed a little here and there, and stepped out. There was no time for
dilly dallying today, it was time to get business done. I did my hair,
makeup, and got dressed in under an hour, and was just in time to open
the door for Sheila once she got to my house.
I ran downstairs with my luggage.
"HI!"I shouted loudly, giving Sheila a hug.
"HI!" she greeted back in the same tone, with her luggage at her side.
"Let
me just grab a few more things and make sure everything's good to go,
and I'll be set," I ran to my room to make sure I had everything,
checked the doors and windows, and off we went.
We
made it to the airport in good timing. Luckily, the San Francisco
International Airport isn't usually too overwhelming, so we were there
in plenty of time. We checked our luggage in and sat at the baggage
claim waiting with anticipation for our flight to start boarding.
"I can't believe we're actually covering this! Maybe we'll run into John Stamos or Michael J.Fox!" Sheila said excitedly.
"You can't be serious. Out of all the people that are in Hollywood, you picked those two?"
"What's wrong with them?"
"....Nothing's wrong with them. But, what about Steven Tyler or J.LO?"
"Oh yeah, them too! For sure."
I
laughed at Sheila's comments and knew that if the rest of this trip
were anything like that statement, I'd be extremely sore by the time we
got home from laughing so hard.
We
spent the plane ride talking about all the things we wanted to do in LA
while we were out there, celebs we were hoping to see, and gabbing
about the fashion trends for the season. Yes, this truly is the life of
an entertainment journalist, we live and breathe it. But, that's not all
there is to my life and sometimes it's hard not to get caught up in the
glitz. God has woken me up several times from what I thought was best
and what I thought living really was.
We
landed in LA right on time and headed straight to the hotel. We didn't
want to waste a second of sightseeing time, and the night was still
young. Sheila and I were staying at The W Hotel in the downtown area,
which was also right across the street from Staples Center. I opened the
curtains to reveal the home of the Lakers all lit up in a purplish sort
of glow, and people flooding the area for the game that night. If I
tilted my head even further, I could start to make out the set for the
Idol finale going on on our side. The place was abuzz with anticipation,
and I could hardly wait.
"Are you almost ready?" I called to Sheila, who was still getting ready in the bathroom.
"Hold your horses! I have to look my best in case we see anyone," she replied back in an anxious tone.
I
rolled my eyes, and laughed. As you can tell we don't get over to these
neck of the woods very often. It was all sort of a big deal that we
were here. I had decided to change into a red dress paired with a black
blazer and pumps. I even curled my hair and went a little heavier with
the makeup. When in Rome, might as well go all out right?
"I'm
all set," Sheila walked out wearing a long, flowy maxi dress and what
we'd like to call "Jesus sandals" (a/k/a Gladiator sandals that Jesus
made popular back in His day). Her hair was naturally curled and had
feathers and different colored stripes throughout. She was started the
"hipster" trend, whatever that means.
"Lookin' gorgeous!" I admired her, looking her up and down.
"And how about you? Looks like you're completely over whatshisface..." she winked, and I faked a pleasant smile.
"Right," I nodded.
"You are over him, aren't you?" She asked sympathetically, joining me at the foot of my bed.
"Yeah,
I'm completely over him. I guess it's just the idea of not having
someone that I haven't completely gotten used to. I've been with him
since I was a junior in high school and I'm almost 25 now..." My head
immediately played flashbacks of all of our big moments in my head,
"It's just hard to get over right away...that feeling of needing
somebody I mean. Or just wishing that things had worked out
differently."
"You'll
see, God has a plan in all of this, as sucky as it is now. Who knows,
maybe you'll even meet someone here this week!" she tried to assure me.
I laughed at her willingness to try, "Right, I doubt that'll happen. But thanks for trying to cheer me up."
"Hey,
never say never. God makes beautiful things out of the most horrible
situations, so I know He can do that with you right now."
She had a point, but it was hard to look past the rain I was seeing.
"Well,
enough of me whining and complaining. Tonight is all about us, as is
the rest of this week. We are single and independent women making our
dreams come true. It's time we take a little break and enjoy ourselves,"
I cheered, standing up with gusto.
"YEAH! You're absolutely right," Sheila agreed, standing next to me and heading for the door.
We
didn't look back and decided to hit the downtown area for dinner and
dancing, since Katsuya was just up the street from our hotel. As we
walked along the street, I couldn't help but feel that with each step I
took I was getting closer to opportunities I'd been waiting a lifetime
for. Sheila was right...God did have a lot in store for me. I just have
to keep trusting Him.
We
walked into Katsuya and immediately saw the entire Kardashian clan
making their way to the door. I guess JustJared hasn't exaggerated the
fact that they basically live here. This trip was off to a great start
already. The hostess seated us at a table for two. It was one of those
hoity toity restaurants that was only lit by candlelight. We had to lean
in closer to the table to read the menu.
"I'm starving," Sheila complained, running her finger over the menu.
"Me too! All we had was that lame plane food, which does not cut it," I added.
Soon, we ordered and started discussing plans for tomorrow. We really had to be on our A game.
"We'll
get to the Idol station around noon to pick up our passes and check it
all out; see how it's set up, where we'll be, and all that. We'll have
time to get ready back at the hotel, then it's back to Idol to run
through camera angles and lines, and at three the red carpet starts!"
Sheila and I looked over the itinerary we had received through e-mail.
"I
don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight," I felt incredibly giddy
inside. The Idol finale was not just any season finale; it was a full
blown party.
"Me either, but we're going to have to if we want to hang out at the after party tomorrow night with everyone."
"Good
point," the waitress dropped off our food. I had ordered the filet
mignon, while Sheila went with the salmon. Both were delicious. We
didn't waste very much time eating and getting out of there.
The
night was sparkling as we walked through LA Live, which was blocked off
quite a bit due to the American Idol red carpet. The lights were bright
and everything about the atmosphere reminded me that I wasn't in Kansas
anymore.
"I
can't find my earring! Where did I put it? Have you seen it?" I ran
around the room, rummaging through my suitcase and carry on bag trying
to find the matching earring to the one already in my ear.
"I think I saw it in the bathroom," Sheila pointed as she curled her hair in front of the vanity mirror.
"Ah!
I'm running late," I shrieked, checking my phone for the umpteenth time
today. I had showered and put my makeup on, but I still had to curl my
hair and get dressed.
"Relax, we'll have plenty of time. I promise!"
I
took a deep breath of relief when I found my leopard print Betsey
Johnson earring laying on the counter where I had left it earlier. But,
it was time to finish getting ready. I grabbed my wand curling iron and
started wrapping pieces of my hair around it quickly. Soon, my dark
brown hair was in loose waves; I tousled it and spritzed some hairspray.
I slipped into my black cocktail dress and slid on my shiny pumps. I
did a glimpse in the mirror and liked what I saw.
"You ready to rock this thing?" Sheila asked as I came out of the bathroom, completely dressed and ready to go.
"Absolutely!
Let's do this! You look great by the way," she was wearing black pants
and a blazer since she'd be behind the camera tonight. She still looked
some sort of fierce.
"I'm telling you, you're going to meet your future husband tonight," and she seemed pretty serious about it.
"No,
I'm not. Get that idea out of your head; that's a crazy make-believe
story that would make great reading on my blog, but not something that
actually happens in life," I blew her off as I did most of the time with
her off the wall ideas.
"One
of these days you'll believe me when I tell you this stuff. I've been
around a little longer than you, I've seen it with my own eyes."
"You're only two years older than me," I reminded her.
"Yes,
but two years longer that I've been on this earth to know how it works.
Don't you think crazier things have happened than somebody meeting the
love of their life at a Hollywood event?"
"I
guess. But, I've been doing these things for a few years now, most of
the time with the same people and there is NOTHING there, believe me."
"Alright,
fine....But, I'm going to laugh when you meet HIM tonight. God has
someone really special in mind for you," she emphasized on the word
really.
I
laughed at how committed she could become to the ideas, and it was one
of the reasons I loved her. We had our badges in hand, and walked up to
the press gate.
"You'll
be down at the end of the carpet towards E! News," the security guard
checked his clipboard and assisted us in finding our news booth.
I
took a deep breath as we stood at the end of the carpet setting up. I
opened my binder, reviewing questions and contestants' performances. I
had spent all of last night going over this season's Idol, making sure I
was caught up on judges' comments and themes.
Other
news reporters and TV stations were starting to file in one by one, and
people were starting to parade the carpet. Lights and cameras
surrounded us, while I adjusted the microphone and reviewed the
questions I had planned out on my ipad. The contestants and other
celebrities started striding down the carpet, and my palms were starting
to sweat. There was no more grace period; It was showtime!
To be continued...Part two coming sometime this week! :)
To be continued...Part two coming sometime this week! :)
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