"Freedom reigns in this place
Showers of mercy and grace
Falling on every face
There is freedom." <3
Tonight, my church had a renewal service that'll be going on through Wednesday. Anyway, it was just a time of worship and prayer and coming together as a church. I went with my friends and we were all really excited about it. I had said a prayer before I got there, asking God to show up and expecting that He was going to do BIG things. We visited a little bit when we first got there, grabbed seats and it started. As we were singing, though, for whatever reason I just could not focus. My mind and heart were in so many different places and I couldn't find myself able to be in that particular moment. I was feeling extremely sensitive over petty things that just didn't matter, and I think the enemy was trying to get my attention. I just kept praying that I would be able to focus on God and He would work in my heart.
When our pastor got up to speak, he asked how many people had been distant from God lately and for those people to raise their hands. I did. Lately, my faith has been growing stronger, but for the past several years I've been very distant from God and my relationship with Him hasn't been where I would've liked for it to be. Then, he asked if people around would pray for those with our hands up. My friend, Viviyan prayed over me. Viviyan is such a strong woman of God that I know will go on to do incredible things; she's already doing incredible things. She has really helped me grow in my walk with the Lord in so many ways and she truly lives out what she talks about. Later on, Viviyan told me that she'd had a vision from God, I guess you would call it. In it, I was dancing freely, and I was at peace. That's exactly what I felt after we prayed. God is restoring my life day after day. I was just in shock with how God was using others to really show me how He's going to use me.
Not only that, but I got several more confirmations about the path that I'm supposed to be on with other people throughout the night. And from one that I'd never even met or seen before. After the service, a woman behind me tapped me on the shoulder and I looked up. Out of the blue, she asked if I sang. I assumed she meant because I was on the worship team or something like that, and was just going to say I looked familiar. Well, she went on to say that she just had a feeling I was going to heal a lot of people with the way I sing. And she told me I was pretty. I was completely blown away. That was the first time I'd ever had direct confirmation like that from God. On the way out, we ran into some old friends that we've known forever growing up, and one of them joked he'd see me in Nashville. When I got home, I had a tweet from a high school friend saying he was watching American Idol and asking why I hadn't tried out. Every year, the auditions would come around, but I'd make excuses or wouldn't have enough people backing me up or the support. Obviously, it was just never the right time and maybe that's not my true or only dream anymore.
I look back at the things I wanted when I was younger and over the past couple days I've been seeing firsthand why they didn't work out. Everything happens for a reason, even when I couldn't see it. We just have to keep trusting God that He knows what's best.
The entire night was very surreal. I was able to connect with old friends and we're already making plans to hang out soon, and I'm just so amazed by God and everything He's doing in my life at this moment. I don't want to be anywhere else, and I don't want my dreams anymore. I want God's plans for my life. That's definitely something I have to remind myself of, because sometimes I forget. God is ALL I need and I am good enough, contrary to how I've felt or what I've been told. It's time to stop basing the future off of what happened in the past. That's forgotten, and I'm moving forward. The rest of my life starts right NOW.
Much love and many blessings to every single one of you,