All of my life, I've been searching for something else. I've been wanting to go far away to do something really big and grand with my life. That's just always been the dream. I thought that in order to make a difference or let people know who I am, I had to be "worldwide". But, maybe my dream has been right in front of me this entire time, and I've just been too blind to see it. Maybe I don't have to leave this town that I live in, to live the life I've always wanted. Maybe it has just been a matter of changing my attitude about it.
Lately, my real life has been so much better than I could ever have daydreamed in my mind. Although, I will admit it has caused a little lack of creativity when it comes to the story writing department. I haven't been daydreaming much this year. I'm finding that real life is so much more interesting than all the fairytales. I mean, let's face it, you can't write the kind of stuff that happens to us on a day to day basis.
I'm learning to live in the moment. To Take things for what they other, rather than what they could be. To not have unrealistic expectations, but to be hopeful so I don't get my heart broken every single time something falls through. Instead of creating characters in my mind for how I think people could be, I've actually started getting to know them. Let me tell you, they are far more interesting in person that what I could ever come up with. And that's the thing, real life characters will make us feel so much more than anything that's in a book or on a TV show or in a movie, no matter how well written they are. They can hold our hand, wipe the tears from our eyes, or give us advice when those "characters" can't be there for us.
None of this has come easily believe me, because it's so totally opposite from what I'm used to. I've been finding my strength in God. Because of it, I've been able to handle and achieve so many wonderful things that I had never even really thought of, but He knew I needed them. Sacrificing my plans and goals for what God has planned for me has changed my life all around. It's a battle everyday, but it's getting easier to just turn everything I'm dealing with over to Him. There's a certain area of my life that I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to fully just hand it to Him, when it came down to it. But, I finally did and it has been the best feeling ever. I encourage you to trust Him. I know it will take some time, but the rewards in the end will so be worth it.
That's all for now,
Shelby <3
xoxox
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