March 7, 2013
What is it about me that is so unforgettable? Is it that I'm not pretty enough? I'm too quiet? Something about my face in general? This question has been haunting me again over the past couple days, and it was something I thought I'd long forgotten.
Over the years, I've always been the one that people "forget" about or just don't choose to remember because they don't care. Alright, maybe that's a bit dramatic, but that's how it feels at times. I've been left out, a substitute teacher that had me in their classes over my four years of high school thought I was new, and Carrie Underwood didn't remember me last time we met (I actually just threw this one in for kicks. I totally don't expect her to remember, even though she does a lot of other people. And it was a weird night). I know these are little things that wouldn't bother most people too much, but to me, they do. I take everything personally, so I feel like I'm doing something wrong in my life if I'm not that memorable.
I've always been quiet and haven't spoken up a lot, but I've never wanted to blend in either. I guess I've just been afraid. My biggest fear is that I'll be average; that I'll never do something that changes the world or something that'll just blow everyone away, because I'm not really "the best" at anything I do.
Maybe this is just me having a pity party or maybe I'm onto something! All I know is I want to be the girl that lights up a room, that makes people's day better just from a simple smile, and I want to do something really BIG that gives people no other choice but to remember me.
Or maybe, all of of these unmemorable moments are leading me up to something that I've waited my entire life for, and this will give me that shove that I need. I don't know, but it couldn't hurt.