I've had my heart broken a few times, sure. That's just part of life. People have disappointed me. I haven't reached goals by a certain amount of time. I've lost loved ones. I've had my heart (somewhat) broken over relationships that didn't work out and I was sad or when feelings weren't returned when I thought the spark was there from the start. Yeah, I've cried myself to sleep at night a lot over a dream taking too long or wondering if it was going to happen at all.
But, I've never been in love. You know, the real love that people spend their whole lives trying to find. The thing people write songs and make movies about. And I don't know what it feels like to plan on forever with someone or to enjoy spending so much time with someone, only to have your feelings and heart stomped all over when it didn't work out.
In some ways, I kind of feel like I'm missing out. It seems like I've talked about this a million times before, but it's true. I don't miss anyone. If anything, I miss someone I've probably never met yet, wondering what kind of memories we'll create together. Will there ever come a point where he breaks my heart? Or will he just be the one who stays when no one else did? I just know a lot about daydreams and people not matching up to what scenario I've created in my mind. That has been the biggest heartbreak of all.
But, is it better to play it safe and not have your heart broken, while waiting to find that right guy? Or is it better to just take a chance (even if only on a daydream), and if it doesn't work out, well then at least you tried? I think it is. Maybe none of these have worked out in the past, but it doesn't mean it always has to be this way. I'm going to keep taking a chance. Either way, I know I'm going to be okay in the end, so where's bad?
That's all for now,
Shelby
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