August 7, 2013
Back To School...Well, Not Quite Yet
The past couple of days, I've been helping out one of my dearest friends in her classroom, prepping for the new school year that starts in just a a week and a half! I can't believe she's getting ready to start her second year. It really is crazy how time flies, and how quickly she adjusted to it, as well as it's hard to believe that her summer is already slowing down and she'll be getting a new batch of kiddos. We've been organizing posters, cabinets, drawers, rearranging some of the tables, redoing the walls, and cleaning. And it has been nothing but fun, as hard as that might be to believe!
I've been feeling sort of blah lately; summertime blues, I guess you could call it. I've had way too much time to sit at home and dwell on things that are out of my control and it has only worried me to death in the process, which is not cool. So, when Viviyan asked if I would help her out in her classroom Sunday (or Monday night?), I jumped at the chance, because, 1) I'd get to hang out with one of my closest friends and favorite people on the planet, and 2) I really do like being in the school environment, though usually after hours or if I'm not the one who's actually at the desk as a student. I've always loved helping teachers, whether it was as a student in elementary school filing, helping clean the class and grading papers or helping out friends over the past couple years. It's fun to be able to get to know the kids and learn the ropes, without actually having that responsibility of being the one in charge. I think being able to be in the workforce without actually getting paid or being on staff anywhere has helped me gain experience, so when I do get a job, I'll have an idea of what it's like to work around other people and to be part of a "team."
I seriously commend teachers for all the hard work that they put in, not only for the lesson plans and teaching, but for the details they put into their classroom. You have no idea how much goes into it, and I love that the teachers I know have such a passion and heart for their students and making it the best experience that they possibly can for the kids. I know my calling isn't to be a teacher or to be in a classroom all day, but for right now, I am enjoying being around it.
So, the past couple of days has been so much more than just doing work, though, we've been able to get a lot accomplished and her class is looking fantastic, it has been about connecting with people again. I feel like the summer has made me pull away from my normal routines and getting together with people, so this was a nice chance to interact with something to do, instead of sitting at home
bored. Viviyan and I were actually able to have a couple really nice heart to hearts. I've been so bottled up with feelings lately, and I was reminded that it's okay to pour your heart out and let people know what you're going through, instead of just driving yourself crazy. And I had a bit of a reminder that "it's okay not to be okay." We're all going to have those moments where no matter how good things are going around us, we have to do a bit of a heart check and see how we're doing spiritually and mentally. It was a load off, that's for sure. I truly believe God put it all together for that talk today, and is giving me that nudge to get back in the game. I've been using this summer break and starting the new university in the fall as an excuse to get comfortable and just blow big opportunities off because I'm too scared or too lazy. But, no...NO MORE of that! I'm going to jump in, whether my knees are shaking or not, whether my voice is trembling when I speak, or whether I think nothing good can come from taking a risk. I'm so thankful to have the friends that I do and to not feel like a burden when things just don't make sense to me and I don't have to feel like I'm all alone.
In between our heart to hearts (and you know getting stuff done), we would also "gleek out" for a little, while listening to the soundtrack to Glee on Pandora radio, quoting our favorite episodes or rambling on about Cory Monteith.
I also got a chance to see some of my old teachers or teachers that were around when I went to school there, which is always a blast from the past...And a reminder of how old I'm getting. Have I mentioned that I want it to stop?? haha. Viv's aunt made us yummy food, I got to know/talk with her awesome cousin more (and she informed us all about One Direction and helped us identify who was singing which part, and I thoroughly enjoyed that. I like hearing others talk about their favorite celebs) and today, we also got to take a short trip to the paper supply across the street, which was entertaining. Who knew there were so many different colors and types of papers? Stationary is kind of a fascinating thing to me, so I'm all for it.
Days like this remind me of why I'm here. I have a purpose, and that's to lend a hand, whether it's to a friend or hopefully at some point to a complete stranger to broaden my horizon and to go out further in the world...Or maybe reach someone I'll never even get a chance to meet. Sometimes I have to remind myself to get pumped up for things, because I let things in life drag me down and wear me out too much, when it's not worth it. THIS LIFE IS WORTH LIVING AND GETTING EXCITED ABOUT. I have so many things to look around and feel blessed with, so why should I keep putting myself in a funk??
Take a second and write down five things you're really excited about and 5 things you have, that you sometimes take for granted, but feel so blessed to have. I'm going to do it too. It might not be a bad trend to start on a daily basis just to get into the mindset of pausing to focus on what God's doing and not just what you want Him to do. *SIGH*, I feel better already :)
That's all for now,