January 21, 2013

21st Birthday

So, apparently I didn't post this before...But, here's what actually happened on my birthday!

I can't believe I'm 21. I was just starting to get used to the fact that I was 20 (no longer in the "teen years"), and here we are with another change. I'm getting older, and that's weird! But, not as crazy as I thought it would be. I guess it's just something you naturally grow into as the years go by. So, it's time I start acting like it, right?

I woke up to my cats fighting in my room, which was entertaining, that's for sure. I couldn't get to sleep after that, so I decided to go out to the living room to talk with my mom, as usual. A few minutes later, my dad surprised me with balloons and donuts. Two of my very favorite things. It was strange to me that I was up so early on a Sunday morning, because it is very rare that I do that. But, I liked it. I was able to watch Friends and take my time getting ready, which is wonderful. I hate to feel rushed; it makes me anxious, and that's just not good for anyone.

Church was incredible as always, and I felt my spirit come back to life a bit. This year, I've been feeling unmotivated and just not really sure of where to go. I have a stirring in my heart to do something BIG, but I'm not really sure what exactly it is that I want to do. I just know that I wanted to get started and go after it!
When church was over, we came home to start getting things together for family that was about to come over. I opened my presents, which consisted of Taylor Swift merchandise, and changed into a comfier outfit, then I watched a little E! to prep for the Golden Globe awards. I also kept checking Twitter for some birthday wishes...and I got them...AUSTIN NICHOLS CALLED ME "Baby!" How much more exciting can it get?! Sophia Bush also wished me a happy birthday, which was equally as exciting...Just because she's Sophia Bush, what other reason do you need?!
The family came over in mid-afternoon and we had lunch, talked, and ate birthday cake, of course! It was a really good time to spend with the ones I love. But, by the end of the time that they were over, it had my mind filled with so many questions and doubts and where I'm going with my life, which is never good. But, it can also be used as a great motivator.
When everyone left, I met up for coffee with one of my very best friends, Viviyan, and we talked a lot about the future and our spiritual journeys, which is definitely what I needed to talk about, because I've been struggling with getting back into the game. She told me about a potentially big opportunity coming her way, and I told her where I'm at, and some of the concerns/annoyances that have been on my mind, and it really put me at ease to get them off of my chest.

After coffee, we headed across the street to our church, because they were starting the renewal. I remember having such a wonderful time of healing last year, and really felt like I needed to go this time as well, even though I wouldn't be able to make every night. It was so incredible to have a longer time of worship, and then diving into a more intimate message. That night, we focused on how Jesus is SAVIOR. We don't have to focus on the storm that is going on in our lives, all we need to do is keep our eyes on Him, and He'll get us through it. We have to have faith and know that God is going to change things! We have to reach out to Jesus and accept His healing for our lives, and let Him do what He wants, not what we want. Jesus doesn't see things as they are, He sees them for how they are going to be. He sees the potential in us, when people only see us for who we are right now, and they limit us. God NEVER does that. The more we start to believe in what God can do, it drives back the forces of darkness that try to destroy us and hold us back from doing something really great for the kingdom.

There was prayer afterwards, which I actually went down there for, and I just felt at peace. I know that God is doing a lot of work in my heart, and I just have to keep working at it to get to where I want to be. But, I know He sees me as a diamond in the rough, and He isn't through working with me yet....In fact, I think it's only just beginning.

After the service ended, I talked with some friends and we started trying to make plans for a game night very soon, and then I went home. I watched the Golden Globes with my parents and we snacked on some leftovers from earlier in the afternoon. It was very relaxing, and just an all around wonderful day. :)

That's all for now,

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