August 1, 2012

Good In Goodbye (Fiction Series) Part Ten

"Stacey!" I knew I had recognized the voice, but I thought I was losing it. Maybe fearing that moment in a way. I saw Brad, my ex boyfriend, with his wife and two kids, heading straight towards us. I hadn't seen him since we'd broken up, close to five or so years ago. I guess he had been busy since then too.
"Brad," I smiled, fumbling with my hands, and nervously biting my lip, as I walked closer to them. 
Carter followed closely behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist. He could sense how awkward I felt about this run in, and was trying to make it as painless as possible.
"How are you?" He had this glow about him that I'd never actually seen before. I glanced to his wife, who was also beaming. He hadn't changed much. He still had the same dark hair, perfect posture, perfect smile, muscles, and looked like a walking ad for Ralph Lauren. I looked a little closer at his wife. She looked nothing like me. She was extremely tall, tan, had freckles, dark hair and looked like she probably had descendents from Italy. Their kids were around one and two, complete with matching outfits, sitting quietly in their strollers. They really were the perfect family. Mentally I was picturing what it would've been like if I were still with him. I realized I probably would have gone crazy.
"I'm really good. We're actually back in town for Carter's concert tonight. He's playing at the Giants Stadium for his first headlining tour!" I was feeling as proud as someone could of their spouse right now.
"Oh, that's right. I thought I read somewhere you guys would be back for that. That's awesome, Carter! Congrats," Brad nodded, making eye contact with Carter, as I analyzed their body language. 
"Thanks. I'm glad I can finally see all of the places Stacey has told me so much about," He kind of gave a questioning look. I hadn't even thought of introducing them, but then it occurred to me that Brad's wife was probably in the blue too.
"I should probably introduce you guys," I blurted, feeling all eyes on me. "Brad, this is my husband, Carter Danon. Babe, this is Brad...My ex," the last part was probably a given. But, I felt that I still needed to say it after all this time. Brad introduced his wife to us too. I found out her name was Melissa.
"I figured that's who it was," He chuckled politely. Melissa didn't say much, and I can't blame her, she just smiled and kept checking on the kids occasionally as I told Brad about work, and traveling with Carter. "Nice to meet you guys," we exchanged hand shakes.
"We watch you on E! News every night," Melissa informed me,"I hope that's not weird," She started apologizing.
I paused, thinking back to everything we'd all been through. Me with Brad. Me with Carter. The two relationships couldn't even compare to another, so I don't know why I was bothering. 
"Not at all. We've grown up...Or rather, I've grown up since then, and I need to say this," I told Brad and Melissa. "For awhile, I didn't think I would ever find anyone or that I wanted to, because I had been so comfortable with Brad, but then I realized after we broke up that wasn't the kind of relationship I wanted. I mean no disrespect to you, but life always works out the way it's supposed to. I don't regret any of the time we spent together, because for that time we made sense. But, God had a different plan all along, and we're both where we're meant to be." As I said the words, a cool breeze started to kick up. It was almost symbolic of a new change of wind that was heading my way. I felt free of the past. I let out a sigh, and smiled. "I really am glad to see that you're happy. You guys fit together so perfectly. Much better than you and I ever would've. You have an adorable family."
"That means a lot to me that you said that," Brad told me, "I couldn't agree more," I saw him glance down at the smiling faces on his children. "Do you guys have any kids?"
I glanced to Carter, who had been letting me do most of the talking, nodded, "We're actually expecting our first baby next March," I beamed, as Carter rubbed his hand along my back. 
"Congratulations!" Melissa told us. "You really have no idea how much it will change your life until it happens. You think getting married is the best thing in the world, and then this tiny baby grabs your finger as soon as it's out of the womb, and suddenly you feel this love that you've never known."
As I heard her describing that feeling, I couldn't help but be excited, and the hormones started kicking in, as tears fell from my eyes. "Thank you for that! We're really excited about it. It'll mean settling down in one place for quite awhile, which might be hard at first, but I think we'll be glad for it after the baby comes."
"Definitely!" they both agreed with me.
A couple seconds of silence passed, and we all knew in an unspoken way that it was time to say goodbye. 
"It was great running into you guys, and meeting you Carter," Brad nodded towards us, and we agreed.
"Yeah, it was great meeting you guys too,"Carter told the couple, and I thought to myself how good it was to see them too. I didn't even mean it in a sarcastic way this time. 
A few minutes later, we had split up again. I was still quietly smiling to myself as they walked away, while Carter and I headed back to the car. 
"You okay?" He asked me, pulling me into a tight embrace. I closed my eyes, and leaned my head against his chest, while he continued to talk,"I'm proud of you!"
"For what?" I looked up into his hazel eyes, trying to figure out where he was going with it.
"The way you handled yourself today with Brad and his wife."
"It was nothing!" I shrugged off.
"Are you sure? Because when I first met you, I think you were still pretty hung up on the idea of him," he smiled at me, but I knew he was hurt by it.
"Yeah," I sighed,"I was. But, I didn't know anything different until you. How could I have?"
"It's just cool to see how far you've come." We made our way to the car, and Carter opened the door for me. I slid inside, as he walked to the other side and started up our Mercedes SUV. 
"I have you to thank for that!" I looked down to my stomach, feeling the baby that was on its way. "I thought I had lost it all. I thought there was no way I could come back from that relationship. But, sometimes...You have to let go of certain people and certain things in your life to make way for the things God really has planned for you. Sometimes there's good in goodbye!" I simply said, and for the first time, I truly believed that.
 "I don’t regret it
The time we had together
I won’t forget it
But we both ended up where we belong
I guess goodbye made us strong
And yeah I’m happy
I found somebody too who makes me happy
And I knew one day I’d see you on the street
And it’d be bittersweet..." 
Author's note:
A lot of time we get so caught up in our plans, dreams, fantasies, and what we think is best for our lives. We think we know everything, while God is trying to call us back to His plan. Sometimes, I hold on to ideas and people, thinking that will solve the problem...because stressing, worrying and obsessing usually solve everything, right? (sarcasm). This year, as I've learned to really turn my life over to God and let go of the past, future, and even right now, it has been incredible to see what He is doing in me and through me. When we step back and let God have complete control over our lives, we are able to be the people we were meant to be all along. 
That's all for now,

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