June 25, 2012

Almost There

 "And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
People down here think I'm crazy, but I don't care
Trials and tribulations, I’ve had my share
There ain't nothing gonna stop me now ‘cause I'm almost there!"
(The Princess And The Frog)

Saturday morning while we were driving to LA, I got a text from my friend, Krista asking if I wanted to move to Nashville around January. She's getting an apartment and rent would be cheaper with two people, so she thought she'd ask me if I wanted to do it with her. Of course, with everything in my heart, I wanted to. All of a sudden, I felt like one of the heroines like in the books I read. The ones about the struggling artist, who about midway through the book, their luck starts to change. The girl becomes a Country star, meets the love of her life and the rest is history. I felt like my luck was finally starting to turn around, with slideshows of possibilities for what's to come dancing around in my mind: playing the Opry, working with the greats, releasing a CD, touring and my life falling into place the way I've always hoped they would. I told my parents, knowing there would be absolutely no chance of it happening and their responses reminded me. It hit me, that I'm not ready. For one, I have no license and I have no job or money. I would have no way to get back there and make it work, other than that I'd have no problem.

So, maybe I couldn't say yes now, but it was a wake up call for me. It made me realize that my dream is within reach and one of these days I will make it happen. After all, I had just told my friends that I needed to come up with a plan to get back to Nashville the night before...and this text comes out of the blue the next day. It opened my eyes that I'm still not ready, but I'm almost there. I'm getting closer to that day. I still need to do a little growing up, I still want to at least finish school at my community college to get some sort of degree, I need to get my license and I just need to learn to be more independent if I want to be on my own in another state. That's all there is to it.

Also, while on the road to LA, my aunt started talking with me about classes and college and transferring and finishing up classes where I am now. I don't know what it is, but every time I start talking to other people about future plans, I freeze up. I know exactly what I want to do, but trying to get that across to other people is hard for me at times, because they won't always necessarily understand. I tense up when I think about the process of transferring to another school or having to make plans or do this and do that. In the back of my mind, however, I think it might have something to do with the fact that I keep holding out for Nashville. Maybe I'm afraid to make plans for going to school here because I don't want to be here when it comes down to it. Everyone I keep talking to outside of my family keeps telling me I need to check into other schools out of state, because they either wish they had done it or that's what they'd ultimately like to do. I keep thinking about it, but I just have no idea how to make it work. If God wants me in Nashville and I'm putting in the effort to make it work...then it will. I don't need to stress or worry that I'm straying off the path, because God already knows where I'm going to end up. He has a plan for me and I believe in the promises He has made, no matter how difficult or winding the road may be. Things won't always be smooth sailing, but in the end they WILL be worth it. I just have to keep believing and telling myself that.

That's all for now,

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