February 12, 2014

{February 11}

Tuesdays are basically the only days I look forward to. It's early enough in the week that I don't always have too much to do, or I just procrastinate and try not to think about it until later on in the week. And I always take advantage of that whole 'sleeping in' thing.

This morning, I woke up earlier around 8:30, but we all know I would not get up that soon. So, I rolled over and went back to sleep. The next thing I knew, it was almost noon. WHAT?! I almost flew out of bed seeing that on the clock next to me in big green letters. I did have stuff to do today, whether I wanted to get it done or not.

I went to the living room and just spent a few minutes waking up and planning out the rest of my day. I decided I wasn't going to do any homework until I was truly ready to sit down and get it done. I read my tweets and Facebook, then got an email saying I won't be able to get a press pass for the Jennifer Nettles concert that I was hoping to cover for the newspaper, which I was a little bummed about…But, maybe next time? I watched TV for a bit, got online…The usual, all while staying in my pj's, which is AWESOME! Although, I have to say…The more I do, the more "blah" I feel with it. I do still love these days, I just wish I was more productive with the time I have or could just completely call them free days. It just feels like there's never a break.

My mom made us homemade chicken noodle soup for lunch, which was perfect, because my throat has been bothering me big time! It was SO good; a lot of flavor, too. Shortly after, I decided to go on a bike ride to clear my mind and to get out of the house. I feel like the past two quarters, I've really just let myself go and have been so focused on school that I don't really do anything else. I don't even know how focused on school I am anymore, though, to be honest. So, I listened to Martina McBride's greatest hits and enjoyed the fresh air outside. 

I came back to my house when I was finished, immediately dreading all of the homework that was still waiting for me. I decided to work on my paper for theories, tried to win a meet and greet with Lucy Hale, wasted time with Facebook, and finally finished my essay after three or so hours of writing here and there. I have GOT to stop just dilly dallying and get stuff done. UGH!

When my dad came home, we ate dinner, I turned my paper in, and tried to study for my midterm in Mass Media and Society that will be happening tomorrow. Oy vey! And that's what I've been doing, when I haven't been blogging. Crossing my fingers that the test isn't too hard. Also, my wrist/hand is KILLING me from being on the computer so much. *ouch*

I also noticed that I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately...About high school accomplishments, about the community college I went to, and even just last quarter at the university. It's like I'm trying to piece together just who I am. I've been looking through old journals, some of my old writings for english classes and even old flyers from past events. I've been thinking a lot of my grades, the perfomances I've done, what people thought of me. That has brought back so many memories and just makes me appreciate where I am right now, as tough as it might be with the classes I'm taking or feeling thrown into new experiences. I can look back at the past events in my life and smile, and I'm trying to learn to do that right now, instead of waiting until later. The sucky situations I went through don't seem so bad now, and I'm trying to remember that while I'm in this dark place, so I can save myself some of the pain. I'm so in love with my life and who I am turning out to be. It has taken a LONG time for me to get to this place, but I really am excited, whether I show it 24/7 or not. Even when I'm in a bad mood, I still do love my life and where God is taking me...Whether it's Nashville or LA or New York or Guatemala, for all I know.

But, as I've been reflecting, I've also been preparing for the rest of my college career. Today, I put the classes I'm going to take next quarter in my "shopping cart" and tomorrow I will be able to enroll. I have classes every single day, which I am not looking forward to at all. In fact, it kind of led to a bit of a breakdown of intimidation, fear, comparison, doubt, and whether I have the guts to keep going with school and the wonderful world of journalism. No wonder people say you have to have tough skin. I sat in my room crying, made a venting video and decided to move on. What else can I do? I've made it this far, which is way past the limit of quitting. That is NOT an option. So, for now, I just have to do what I have to do be D-O-N-E! SO CLOSE.

On the plus side…Tomorrow, I'm only going to three of my classes! And I get to go to the Buck Owen's Crystal Palace tomorrow night for Lucy Hale's free show! AH! So excited :)

It's almost 2 a.m. and I need to finish studying and then I need to get some SLEEP!

That's all for now,
Shelby :)

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