"It feels like a perfect night for breakfast at midnight--22 ooh-ooh!"

This is me feeling "22" :)

Taylor tweeted about the "13th!" (our special day)

It's a weird thing to have a birthday on a Monday. I just don't like Mondays ever, and who does?! Even if I'm out of school, there are usually errands to run or something else that I don't like to do that takes place on Monday. And after a bit of a busy weekend, I was wiped out and not looking forward to a full day of classes. But, ya gotta do what ya gotta do, right? This is definitely what being an adult feels like, and I don't even know the half of it yet.

*My feature writing class went great. We had a lecture and took some notes, the usual. 

*I decided to head to the paper at lunch a little early to make a few edits for the assignments that had been turned in the day before, since I hadn't been able to make it. It also gave me a chance to not feel like I had to rush through my lunch. It gave me a chance to talk with our editor a bit more, and the professor that is in charge. It was a good time.

Jerry from Parks and Rec! SO AWESOME!

*The newspaper was SO FUN! I've been sitting with the editors, now that I'm an assistant editor myself, and it really makes me feel like part of the team. Because, hey, I am now! That's where the real action and behind the scenes scoop is and it's a blast. We were laughing the entire time and making fun of one another, telling strange stories (actually, I was just listening to them most of the time), and waiting, while the staff writers had lectures on the style of writing and techniques of AP. I was also on Twitter, when I saw that I had a tweet back from Jim O'Heir (Jerry on Parks and Rec), which kind of made my day. And then my friend and I were chatting back and forth on Facebook in the middle of class, making up a whole bunch of nonsense after she wished me a happy birthday. Good times, good times. My editor/partner-in-crime and I then met with our features writing team and helped them come up with story ideas, and then everyone was free to go. We all hung out for a little while longer, and then I went outside to hang out for about an hour in the quad area to have a snack and wait for my next class to start. It was a little chilly, but I was taking advantage of the fact that I wasn't stuck in a stuffy classroom and could enjoy the fresh air.

*Mass media was pretty much the same as always, or the last week I should say. Our professor lectured and we wrote notes. It felt like it was going to last forever, but it was all good. I made it out alive, and that's what matters.

*Theories in communication was my last class of the day at 5:15! Hallelujah! I love it because I get to talk to some of my friends and we just laugh and get a little hyper, which helps things go a lot quicker. Also, my friend Brittany got me a pink and black scarf! Totally wasn't expecting that and it's super cute. So sweet of her that she even thought of me. The class period consisted of us listening to an audio clip and writing a bunch of notes, and by the time I left class, I was starving.

The evening was very weird and out of the norm, but it was kind of nice doing something different. It honestly just didn't really feel like my birthday. But, I was also very surprised to see balloons and presents waiting for me when I came home. That definitely made it feel like it was my birthday. To unwind from the day, I snacked on some of my leftovers from Lucille's, then watched a special on E! about the Golden Globes and took a shower. I didn't do ANY homework, and I didn't feel guilty about that in the slightest. I mean, c'mon...You don't have to be an adult all at once! HA!

It wouldn't be a special occasion without a Taylor Swift bag or card ;)

When my dad came home, I opened my presents, which was an Apple TV box, tickets/meet-and-greet for a seminar Kirk Cameron is doing at my grandpa's church next month and a charger for my iphone that I'll be able to take on-the-go! I was SO excited. I finished getting ready and blow drying my hair, then one of my best friends, Liz, picked me up for "breakfast at midnight," like I'd been planning for the past month or so. We had a

Liz, me and Marissa…(My arm looks SO weird).

bit of an adventure with going to Denny's, which is just down the street from where both of us live, because there was a ton of construction going on. We weren't even totally sure that we could make it down the street, seeing as there was a tractor ahead of us and looked like he wasn't going to budge. We were freaking out for a good five minutes, and tried to think of what else we could do, when I saw a guy running behind us, thinking he was trying to stop us. But, it turns out he wasn't. So, we kept going. Turning into the parking lot of Denny's was also quite an adventure, too. We kind of missed it and had to take a detour around, HAHA! But, we made it in one piece, and that's what matters.

My other best friend, Marissa, met up with us a few minutes later, as we all looked over the menus trying to decide what we wanted. I had an omelette, Liz had a Grand Slam, and Marissa had hush puppy bites. Liz talked to us about her sorority and her crazy schedule this quarter with work, school, extra activities and her classes, Marissa told us a little more about her job and people at work, and then there was me…Mainly just taking it all in, and talking about school, and everything that I encounter on a daily basis. The usual. We ate, we talked a lot, and finally close 2 a.m, we left…Since Liz had to be up at 5 a.m. and all, we thought it was probably best to take off. Liz and I had another interesting story of pulling out of the parking lot and we were laughing at this rock that she thought looked like a dog or bear? (I can't remember) and I thought it looked like a sheep. Nope, it was just a rock and we were laughing so hard. And then we saw a shooting star! Pretty exciting stuff, folks. I honestly don't remember what I wished for, but I feel like I have it all already.

I'm never out that late, especially during the school week, so it was fun to just get out there and do something out of the norm. I feel like that's a lot of what this year will be. Not just staying so used to everything I've always done, but doing it all a little differently. Being 22 is just going to be fun. I don't want to take everything so seriously. It's time to loosen up a little and to smile a little more. So, that's my plan.

I came home, got into my pj's and turned on some TV. After all, I am still a homebody at heart, and I was incredibly excited about being able to do that. And it was a good thing I had Tuesday off! haha.

That's all for now,
Shelby 

The Best of Both Worlds (The one where Tom Hanks, Colin Farrell and Orlando Bloom wished me a happy birthday)

Most of my life, I've kind of felt like a Hannah Montana. You know, rockstar by weekend; rubbing elbows with some of the biggest names in Hollywood and going to concerts, traveling, etc. Then, regular girl, just going to school to pursue her dreams by week, usually being ignored by the cool kids or just known as the "quiet" one, who isn't really remembered at the end of the day. I really do get the "best of both worlds," (ba dum bum-ching). Also, never has the line, "You go to movie premieres (is that Orlando Bloom?)" been more accurate than this very post. To find out more about that, you'll have to keep reading.

Anyway, all I wanted for my 22nd birthday this year was to hang out by the Golden Globes drop off spot for the red carpet, to see if we could see or meet any of the stars arriving for the main event. I had been doing my research on Google and YouTube, and it seemed like our chances were pretty good. My parents, being the amazing people that they are were up for the adventure. I made a sign that said "Roll down your window please" on one side, and on the other it read, "It is my birthday '22'!" I was all set and we kept joking that we were going to meet Sandra Bullock. Her, Monica Potter and Amy Poehler were on my top 3 people that I wanted to meet. But, of course, I would have been happy to see ANYONE. I mean everybody and their brother was going to be there, so I knew no matter what happened, it would be a good time.

Signs all around L.A promoting..I WANT ONE!

Sunday morning, we went to the earlier service at church, then came home for a few minutes to pick up our cameras and all that jazz, then headed out. We were still pretty early, so we had time to stop for lunch at Chipotle, and took our time. After, we made our way to L.A, and drove around for a bit looking for parking. That can be quite the task, especially if you don't want to pay an arm and a leg for parking on the night of a special event. We finally found a lot, then went searching for a restroom, which is hard on Wilshire Blvd, which is full of shops or cafes. We found a Rite Aid, and I was able to staple the letters on my board that kept flopping around and I was afraid would fall off with the wind outside. When everything was good to go, we walked to the Beverly Hilton Hotel to get start scoping things out for the red carpet. On the way over, I felt so awkward about holding my sign, trying to keep it hidden, but we were at a crosswalk with two guys across the street from them, and as we got the "walk" signal and passed them, they handed me a dollar and wished me a 'happy birthday.' I guess announcing that it is your birthday definitely has its benefits. I thought it was hilarious that they had planned it all out, too! My mom joked that I should just get a jar and walk around with the sign to see how many people would give me money! Lol...I didn't do that, but there's always next time ;).

We started out in front of the building, where there was a small crowd already gathered around. But, then we started realizing it was only for press and walked a little further down where there were only a few groups waiting by barricades. My dad started talking to a security guard and she was telling him that was the best spot to be in, so I was pretty excited and we stayed put. Then, some of my friends that I had met at the Lauren Graham book signing met up with us, and we started planning and talking about who we wanted to see. It was so good to see them again! We talk on Twitter, and Amber and I text here and there, but the last (and first) time we hung out was in May. It didn't feel like we had to wait that long, and pretty soon, limos were starting to show up.

Robyn, Amber and myself! 

One of the first people we were able to see was one of my favorite actresses, Monica Potter, from Parenthood, who was nominated for Supporting Actress in a Drama, Musical or Comedy. She had her window rolled down and waved to us, and I was SO excited to see her. Hoping next time there will be more time to actually meet her and talk to her

. I'm hoping maybe she recognized me from Twitter, since she follows me, but if not, she definitely saw Amber and Robyn, who talk to her all the time. Shortly after that, the limos kept showing up and you could tell that the red carpet had started. It was like this constant flow of excitement and each star being bigger than the last. It was hard to keep up with.

Here are some of my absolute FAVORITE moments and some other amazing celebrities we saw:

My parents! They're the bestest! :)

• Had a short conversation with Jim O'Heir (Jerry, Larry and Gary from Parks and Rec). He wished me a happy birthday, then said, "22? I'm only 3 decades older than you" or something like that. I thought I had gotten the entire thing on video, and was sad when I realized I hadn't actually pushed record. 
• Eric Stonestreet (Cam from Modern Family) kept looking and pointing at my sign, and you could tell he was saying something...Pretty sure he said happy birthday, but he was so far away it was hard to tell. HAH!
• Retta (Donna from Parks and Rec)
• Johnny Galecki (Big Bang Theory, Christmas Vacation-Russ)
• Kaley Cuoco Sweeting (Big Bang Theory, 8 Simple Rules)
• Sandra Bullock (you could tell it was her from the window and when we watched the red carpet later, but she didn't roll the window down)
• Jesse Tyler Ferguson (Mitchell from Modern Family)
• Ty Burrell (Phil from Modern Family)
• Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad, Malcolm in the Middle)
• Chris Hemsworth (THORRRRR!!!!! He really is even more gorgeous in person)
• Rob Lowe (he had his window rolled down further up the street, but by the time he got to us, it was up again..I was lit'rally so sad)
• Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
• A couple long NBC limos 
• Could have sworn we saw Taylor Swift, judging by the way her hair was pulled up and curled, but not totally sure. 
• Emma Watson (she was putting on her lipstick in the car)
• Kevin Spacey
• Uma Thurman
• Leslie Mann
• P. Diddy
• Jared Leto
• Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally
• Channing and Jenna Dewan Tatum
• Taylor Schilling
• Amy Adams
• Idris Elba (Mandel)
• Melissa McCarthy (she was so cute; waving to everyone through the window, and looked so excited)
• ORLANDO BLOOM rolled down his window and I flipped my sign over to say that it was my birthday. He leaned out, the side that his mom was on, and wished me a happy birthday! I shouted "thank you" back and proceeded to fan girl, feeling like I was going to pass out. People don't even understand how extreme my crush on him back in the day around "Pirates" was. And when I found out we shared a birthday, he absolutely became one of my favorite people. I wish I would have thought to say happy birthday back to him, but it all happened so fast and I was completely caught off guard. It's not everyday that you expect THAT to happen. *SIGH* His accent and charming good looks could make anyone swoon.
• TOM HANKS and wife, RITA WILSON showed up and I thought they might wave to our section, but I put my birthday sign out again. Well, Tom yells "Happy birthday!" out the window, then starts saying other stuff, and then I realize HE'S SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, and then tapped his wife on the shoulder to join in! I'm just standing there, like, "Is this real life?!" (normally, I hate that expression...But, this really was one of those pinch me moments. like when does this stuff happen?!) I'm just standing there like an idiot, smiling so big and I think I shouted I'm a huge fan at some point and just kept saying "thank you so much." I thought I was getting all of it on camera, but I only got bits and pieces because I was shaking so much. Oh, and I also dropped my sign because I was too excited, and it slid to the middle of the street. One of the security guys was nice enough to pick it up for me. Then, just before Tom and Rita drove off, Tom pulled out his camera and started snapping pictures of our side of the crowd! I'm still hoping he tweets those! Haha! But, in the meantime...I'M STILL ON TOM HANKS' phone...WHAT?!?! Tom and Rita seem like they would be that really cool, fun couple really trying to liven up the party with a game of charades or something. I SERIOUSLY want to hang out with him. This just proved to me that he might be a great actor, but he's an even better person. Think about that.

  

  
  

  Oh, you know, just Tom Hanks taking a picture of US! AHHH!

• And just when I thought the day couldn't get any better, another star from Saving Mr. Banks, COLIN FARRELL ended up coming around and rolled his window down when he saw my sign. He said "happy birthday" with that awesome accent of his, and then sang "Happy birthday" again? I couldn't even comprehend what was happening at that point. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...I don't know your name (he gave a slight shrug)." "Shelby," I told him and then he nodded and carried on, "Happy birthday dear Shelby (emphasis on my name that time), happy birthday to you." I just kept freaking out and telling him thank you again. Some other people near us started saying hi to him and then he had a green light to head towards the red carpet. Right before he left, he made eye contact with me again, placing his hands together like a prayer position/bow and nodding my way. He seems like SUCH A NICE GUY! Respect for him definitely went up in my book. I don't really know too much about his personal life. But, based on how he seems to treat people ...He seems like a really cool guy. 

  

  I believe this photo is courtesy of Amber :) HOW COOL?!

My new thing is going to be: If Tom Hanks, Colin Farrel and Orlando Bloom (three of THE BIGGEST STARS in Hollywood) can wish me a happy birthday on their way to the Golden Globes, what's your excuse?! Just kidding. Kind of ;)

Oh, and who can forget the Westboro Baptist that came into full effect as the red carpet started? They started pulling out their awful posters that said things like, "Paul Walker is in hell" or "God hates F--S" and other horrible things. I'm sorry, but the God that I serve does not think any of those things. These are the people that are spreading hate and ugliness wherever they go, and it's just awful. The images they were holding up were horrendous, too. We think that might be why some people weren't rolling their windows down too. They didn't want to be involved or to get bombarded with them, not knowing what they were going to do. And who can blame them? They also started bringing their own music out, with strange lyrics to the tune of "I Won't Let Go" by Rascal Flatts. Uh, go figure?! I will probably never be able to listen to that song the same way again.

Anyway, after all the cars seemed to stop and the security team all came back up to the front, we decided to head out. We walked back to the parking lot and ran into Robyn and Amber again, then realized that you could hear some of the awards ceremony. I wanted to cry when I heard Amy Poehler's voice, knowing she was just right across the street, but it was also really awesome at the same time. We listened for a few minutes, then as the sun was starting to set, we drove out of town, as I relived those incredible moments for the rest of the night.

We stopped for dinner at Lucille's, which would be for my birthday, since I had class until 7:30 on Monday and we wouldn't have time. We had to wait quite awhile, and my feet were throbbing and my head was pounding. Waiting to see celebrities is exhausting. I got some sweet tea and took medicine, and after almost an hour, we got a table. I was so out of it, and trying to make a decision about food felt impossible. But, I came to the conclusion of getting a couple appetizers, chicken strips and fried pickles. SO GOOD! The server we had was so helpful and extremely personable, and even brought me a sundae for my birthday, without the singing!

Yummy! Homemade ice cream!

CONGRATS AMY!!!!! AHHHH! I seriously teared up during her speech.

On the way home, my parents and I played 20 Questions, and I kept warning them that I am not that predictable (referring to anyone we had met or seen that night). I was trying to think outside the box. We got home fairly early, so my mom and I watched the red carpet and the Golden Globe awards themselves. I had to finish a quick homework assignment, then I was starting to fall asleep and still had to take a shower. I was still running on adrenaline when I got in bed that night, but had to get to sleep because Monday was going to be loooonnng.

This is definitely a day for the books, and I will NEVER forget it! :)

There are still some pictures and videos I haven't downloaded yet on mine and my mom's cameras, but I'll try to upload them here, as well when I finally put them on my computer.

That's all for now,
Shelby

The Start of the Winter Quarter

After I got home Monday night! SO tired!

Christmas break officially ended last Monday, and it was back to school I went. I've finished my first week, which means there are only nine more to go! WOO! This week was actually really great compared to my first week in the last quarter (so far anyway). This time...I knew what to expect, where all of my classes were and had a feel for the campus and everyone around me. Now, I feel like I'm actually starting to get excited about what I'm studying to do, which is Journalism. I don't feel so overwhelmed just yet, and haven't had much homework, or then again, I just haven't done it (OOPS). Hard to say! But, I feel like I know how to prioritize a little better.

It was so nice being back on campus and seeing familiar faces walking around or in my classes! The first day was a little exhausting, and my head was throbbing by the time I got home, because there was so much information and so many introductions we had to make. I got home that night and just crashed with a heating pad on my face in my room, then had dinner and watched TV. It was perfect. I realized I was going to need to eat a better breakfast and to take some healthier snacks, which is exactly what I did on Wednesday, and things went a lot smoother and I didn't feel as tired.

Tuesday! 

Parks & Rec and tea from Starbucks. Two of my favorite things.

Healthy salad!

Here's my schedule:

10:00-11:25 ** Features Writing
Lunch break
12:45-2:00 ** Newspaper 
(Sometimes I'll get a break, but I might have to stay and take care of business for the newspaper)
3:00-5:05 ** Mass Media and Society
5:15-7:20 ** Theories in Communication 

Marissa and I were able to hang out on Thursday! We made calzones and memory jars!

It's a really long day, but as long as I eat good and get a lot of sleep, it's actually not as bad as I imagined it could have been. I have friends in all of my classes, and I always look forward to theories now, because it's like our little "family" from Intro to Mass Comm. last quarter, which makes for such a fun time. We're usually picking on one another and or laughing at whatever is going on.

Watching White Collar last night! SO GOOD!

On the plus side, I also have Tuesdays and Thursdays off, so it gives me a break in between the SUPER long days, and I can catch up with homework, as well. I think that's going to be my saving grace this quarter. I'm praying things don't get too hectic, but if they do, I think I'll know how to handle it a little better than last time. This time around, I'm just wanting to enjoy myself a little more. I want to keep my eyes on the prize and focus on what I need to do, but not so much that I don't get a chance to spend time with my friends or to get involved with other things, or to be a little more spontaneous. After all, I'm only 21…There's no reason to start acting like I'm 80 so soon. I have the rest of my life to do that.

And this quarter is officially kicked off. Time to take a deep breath and see what's in store. *sigh*

That's all for now,
Shelby :)

Lessons Learned in 2013

Over the past week (off and on), I’ve been reading through my past journals from 2013 to reflect on who I was, what I was thinking, and just what happened on the day to day. I picked up on a lot of the lessons I learned or things that were brought to my attention a little more and even a few words of insight that are helping me again in this very moment as I move forward. So, I thought I would share those with all of you…

1. To appreciate the people who have been in my life through it all, instead of constantly wondering what happened with the friendships that have just faded out over the years. People come in and walk out of your life for a reason, and it doesn’t mean that we should just keep chasing after them. There has to be a point where you both just stop apologizing, make peace with it and move on.
2. Things always do have a way of working themselves out. Let’s be honest. Life sucks sometimes; it’s not always pretty and things don’t always work out like we plan, but we have to keep finding a way to carry on. It has been a hard year full of challenges, in more ways than one. I’ve had doubts, fears, and a whole lot of other things in between. But, God always uses those circumstances to help me gain perspective; to see things a little more like He would. He uses it for my good, and through those times, I can see clearly that He really is good all the time, regardless of what life throws our way.
3. Being a leader sometimes means you have to jump into a situation before you fully know what’s expected of you… At Catalyst, Pastor Andy Stanley brought up several key points that I’ve tried to remind myself of here and there throughout the year. It’s not always easy, but that’s part of being called to a bigger purpose.

• “We have to commit to WHAT and figure out the HOW later.”
• “You don’t learn much in your wrinkle free days.”

4. I started to see how much I’ve always had this need/desire to “belong,” and because of that, I’ve constantly  tried to keep up with everyone else with things and didn’t even notice it at the time. This goes all the way back to when I was younger, even in elementary school; having the latest clothes like my other friends, who were shopping at Limited Too, etc. It also goes hand in hand with comparing myself to other people in looks, personality, the way I write, or even just personality. It has become more evident to me that I need to focus on the path that God has for me. I am one of a kind and original, we all are. And if we’re always trying to be like everyone else, we miss out on the really cool things that God has planned for only us specifically.

5. This “waiting” period of being single is exactly what I’ve needed, and I haven’t always seen it the way I’ve wanted to…This isn’t meant to destroy me or kill my confidence or to be a reminder that I’m going to be “forever alone.” No, it’s to grow and learn more about who I am (outside of my parents, my friends, my other family members,etc), to get closer to God, to get into the things that I’m passionate about and to go after my dreams of writing and entertainment, wherever that might lead. Too many times I think I’ve relied too much on other people for decisions and I need to take this time to find out more about me. I want to get my priorities straightened out and to be confident in what I want and where I’m going, before I bring anyone else into the picture. I still have my own insecurities and things to work out. I’m learning how I need to be the right person, before expecting to meet the right person and that he’ll just change everything. God needs to be the focus in my life, or I will end up making that person everything, which would only leave me feeling disappointed and wanting more.

“Be patient. Enjoy these moments. Learn more. Become more independent. Save. Live life. Nashville will always be there and whatever is meant to happen will…Later. Not now. Be okay with that.”

(One of the entries I wrote in my journal over the summer; I’ve been trying to remind myself of this when it seems like the waiting is getting a little too long and wondering whether it’ll even be worth it. It’s always a yes).

6. Don’t be afraid to try new things. It’s so cliche, but most of the time, within reason, there’s not an actual reason to be so afraid of a new experience (i.e. trying a new ride at Disneyland, meeting a friend of a friend, eating a new dish you’ve never had before). When I jumped in to new situations, I really ended up having a great time, when I almost backed out. I drove a jet ski for the first time and it was one of the best times I’ve ever had; flying across the water with nothing standing in my way or driving a car for that matter was pretty cool, too. Listening to new music didn’t kill me, watching a new TV series wasn’t the end of the world, and trying a new area of ministry at church (even if it didn’t work out), was still a good experience to start stripping away layers of the kinds of things I want to do around there.

7. If I’m always looking forward to the future, I’ll never be totally content, and I’ll never fully be able to appreciate what is happening right in front of me right now and what God is doing for me in this moment.

8. I’ve felt called to Nashville and that it is the place for me since I was 16. But, sometimes when you’re young, you can think a lot of things are meant to be in your life forever and that isn’t always the case. However, the more I’ve prayed about it and thought about it, and made out the plan/vision I see for myself in the future..I really can’t see myself going anywhere else. Each and every time I leave, I get really sick and I almost have to fight back tears as we board the plane. I leave a little bit of my heart back there with each visit, and someday when I return, it will be completely restored. Obviously, it’s going to take a few more years (maybe more) to save up and to have everything lined up, but instead of just hearing that as a “no,” I’m hearing it as a “not now.” I need to be patient and wait, get some things figured out and realize that there is no rush. I’m going to finish school, save up money, and when I feel God’s telling me the time is right, I’ll head on out…Until then, I just need to sit back and see what’s in front of me out in good ‘ole California.

9. Sometimes when we’re not totally sure of what the next step is that we’re supposed to take or don’t know what kind of decision we should be making. I’ve learned that the best thing to do is to just DO SOMETHING. It might not be the best decision, but because we stepped out in faith, God will meet us there and will redirect our steps if we make a mistake. But, the real mistake would be not doing anything at all.

“You’re still in a time of transition dear–It’s upsetting for any of us when we’re not exactly sure how God’s moving in our lives.”

“The uncertainty–I don’t think the Lord lets any of us get through life without some seasons like that. Otherwise, how would we grow in our faith? Faith is moving ahead in obedience, dear. Just moving ahead one step at a time, trusting Him until He shows us what’s next. He’ll make it clear to you eventually. Sure as anything.”

(From the book, “Undeniably Yours” by Becky Wade”)

10. You have to take the bad days that come along with the good. You have to find a balance of all of the good and bad things in your life. And the bad will certainly help you appreciate the good that much more. But, all of it is a blessing in the end.

“If you’re in a good season…Celebrate it. And if you’re not, seasons are always changing. And that’s why it’s so important to put your peace, hope and true joy in The One who NEVER changes.”

(Amy Grant said this in concert when she came to town back in July, and it resonated so much with everything I was going through).

     11. Honestly, binge watching a TV series on Netflix actually helps me with school. So, I think that should be a lesson for me in this next quarter. Any good shows to recommend? haha.

12. Too much time on my hands can be a very dangerous thing, because I worry way too much…

13. It’s good to be specific in our talks with God, and it’s good to tell Him things that He already knows. It’s like when we see one of our friends posts something good that happened on Facebook. Even though we already know what has happened, we still want the update for ourselves when we see or talk to them next, because sometimes there are more details that they’ll tell us. God wants to hear those things from us, too.

14. “There are times I haven’t known where I was, but I’ve never been lost.” ~ My Grandpa

He was actually talking about directions and driving when he said this, but I’d like to think this applies SO much to life. I don’t always know where I’m going or why exactly I’m going through a certain season. But, I always have to keep believing that I will end up exactly where I’m supposed to be when I’m supposed to arrive.

I’m sure there were plenty of other things that I could have included, but these are the main things. I’m ready to go into 2014 stronger than ever and ready to tackle whatever life throws my way. I have God on my side, along with good friends and family, who know how to handle a heart like mine. 

That’s all for now,

Shelby

And…HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Out With The Old…And In With The New!

2013, I think it’s time that we go our separate ways. I know we’ve had some wonderful times together, but I don’t think that’s any reason for both of us to just keep hanging onto what we had or what we could have had. In all honesty, I was a bit more attached to 2012 and didn’t want to see it go, because it was like that book you wish to write your entire life, and it becomes a bestseller and now you’re trying to write something that is just as good, if not better and it kind of haunts you when if it doesn’t quite live up…You did a pretty fine job, I must say, but I must say, it’s time to say farewell.

I’m not a fan of goodbyes, and I think I’m in good company with that. Amy Poehler hates them a lot, and I’m sure many others of you who are reading this feel the same way. I don’t like finishing good books or saying goodbye to fictional characters on TV, when visiting relatives go back home to South Carolina or Utah, when certain seasons of life fade away, or when friends or family move to a different city. To me, it always just feels really awkward and uncomfortable to finalize words and feelings, like I might never see or hear from them again and that’s tough to carry around.

But, you know what I do love? Beginnings. I love the possibilities of what could happen, even if it doesn’t, to be able to set goals and dreams…To start over. And I realize that in order to get a new beginning, you have to say goodbye to another, so I’ve learned to accept that and enjoy it.

And now, it is that time of year again when we can reflect on everything we’ve accomplished, things we regret, things we wish we would have done or said, some of the hard times we’re glad are over, some moments we wish would have gone on forever, the lessons we learned about ourselves and just all of the experiences we’ve lived over the past 12 months.

This year, I started off in a really weird funk. Honestly, I was bitter that 2012 was ending. I was extremely attached to it, and thought 2013 isn’t going to live up to it, so I don’t know why we were bothering (which was the worst possible mindset to have). I left 2012 on a sour note and that carried over. I was a little depressed, which came from not spending much time with God, it seemed like all of my friends were starting to move on again and I didn’t feel like I would be seeing much of them, I had a lot of fear, doubt and uncertainty for the future and I was questioning a lot about myself. I only had one online class that I was finishing up with my community college and still hadn’t been accepted into the university yet, and I was extremely anxious about everything..And it gave me a lot of time to think, which I didn’t always care for. I felt like I was just wasting time and felt completely stuck with where I was at. I was also pretty (literally) sick off and on, for what felt like the first 2-3 months of the year, which had me feeling lazy and sluggish, and not feeling up for much of anything.

But, looking back, I think that “time off” was one of the best things that could have happened to me. If anything, it gave me a chance to do a little self reflection. It gave me a chance to reevaluate my life without a lot of distractions around me; to just be alone with my heart and to hear what God has been trying to tell me. It gave me a chance to look at some of my past journals to remember what I had come from and a chance to dream for the future and to hear what God was wanting me to with the dreams and passions that have always been on my heart.

This year, I had a lot of big moments and I had to overcome a lot, and even if I was terrified, I tackled them head on..Most of them were really exciting and big reminders that I am an adult now:

• I was published in one of our city’s local magazines and got my very first official paycheck
• I got involved with the youth band at our church, to help out as a leader. And even though it might not have been the direction for me, in the long run, it was a great opportunity. It gave me a chance to make connections I might not have made otherwise, made some new friends,  and by taking that first step and doing SOMETHING, God was able to show me the areas that I do want to help out in and that has opened other doors, which I’m excited about.
• I turned 21, which is one of the BEST birthdays I have ever had (and I still haven’t had a sip of alcohol, and don’t really plan to anytime soon)…I am really getting old now!
• I graduated from the Taft College and was accepted into CSUB! Woo!
• Worked as a “staff writer” on the CSUB paper, and I’m going back in just a couple of weeks.
• Finally got my license (yes, it has taken me this long…But, I finally did it; It’s a long story).
• Passed my classes with 4 A’s and 1 B in my first quarter, which I was extremely paranoid about, and I made the Dean’s List.
• Even though I’ve told myself that I don’t need a boyfriend after all of these years (and praying for that special someone since I was 13), it has been a process of truly believing that and not driving myself crazy with the fact that I am still single. There were times I tried to speed along the process and it didn’t work the way I wanted, because I wasn’t being patient and I wasn’t waiting on God’s timing. I also thought that if you were praying faithfully about it, that meant someone would just appear like *that.* I started seeing it as a bad thing, like there was something wrong with me, but I’m starting to see it as a HUGE blessing in disguise that I’m single. So many people have been getting married really early on in their 20s, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. But, I do hope they know what kind of commitment they’re getting into and it’s something they’ve really thought out. And for the first time in my life, I’m really starting to come to peace with that. God has been working on my heart a lot in that department, and as I get older, my prayers have shifted a bit and my perspective has changed also. I really don’t need a guy right now and I don’t think I even want one right now, anyway. I want to focus on school, get a steady job and be able to become more independent/responsible on my own, before I start relying on someone else to determine my happiness. I’ve been there before, and I need to focus on God and my relationship with Him first and foremost. The right person will come along when he is supposed to, and maybe it won’t be until I’m in Nashville…And that’s okay. In fact, I’d prefer that…But, who really knows? I’ve learned that there is no “one” person out there for everyone, like we tend to think there is sometimes, and being able to see that with a new perspective helped take the load off of me, because I don’t feel like there’s a time frame or any routine that I need to be following. I just need to keep doing what I’m doing, and a relationship with someone will happen naturally, not because I forced it or tried to plan it out my way. Right now, I’m honestly just taking the time to enjoy my 20s, with my friends and family, making experiences, growing, maturing, figuring out what I want, and trying my best not to rush things. I seriously have the rest of my life to find someone and have a family of my own.
• I’ve met a lot of wonderful people at school, after I was a bit worried that I might not really get to know anybody that well, depending on how classes were and how much time I’d be spending on campus.
• Became a staff writer for the entertainment site “PopWrapped,” which has helped me get more familiar with the style of writing I want to do and to meet some cool people from all over the world, who are into the same things that I am.
• Made some reconnections with close friendships that I hadn’t been able to spend much time with.
• I’ve learned to accept things for what they are, instead of dwelling on things, wishing that they were different. You just accept it and move on, hoping for the best along the way and letting God take care of the rest.

And of course, there were just a lot of really fun moments, like:

• Staying up until 3 a.m (or later) finishing a good book or starting a new TV series or just because I could…
• Went to 3 tapings of American Idol, including the finale, becoming “friends” with some of the Idol contestants, Keith Urban signed my ticket and he said “Well, hi there,” when I turned around to wave and smile at him…One of these days we will get a picture together.
• Meeting Lauren Graham at her very first book signing, and she couldn’t have been more awesome! One of the COOLEST people I’ve ever met. I met Maria Menunos while she was filming Extra at The Grove, and told her I was a journalism major and how much I liked her book. Oh, and then there was running into Austin Nichols in the parking garage on our way out! Then, he tweeted me back the next morning *MAJOR FREAKOUT DAY*

• Dodger games throughout the season with my aunt and Viviyan, and just going with my parents!
• Seeing where The Office was filmed and eating at The Smokehouse, where Jim and Pam’s rehearsal dinner was filmed!
• Seeing McKinley High from Glee, which is actually a performing arts high school!
• Heart to hearts over coffee with Viviyan
• Dinner and The Office with Marissa on Thursday nights!
• Meeting Chris Colfer with Viviyan at his book signing
• My 21st birthday (Going to Disneyland, Vegas, SHAKING TIM MCGRAW’S HAND, running into BEN
• SAVAGE in the Long Beach airport, getting to see the Kardashian Khaos store, while Kourtney Kardashian
• Seeing Shania Twain for the first time ever live at Caesar’s Palace, and the show was phenomenal!
• Monica Potter, LeAnn Rimes, Janelle Arthur, Paul Jolley, Burnell Taylor, and Lazaro Arbos follow me on Twitter, which gave me a chance to talk to them more 
• Going to a lot of fun concerts (Shania, Tim&Faith, Keith Urban, Amy Grant, Taylor Swift, Vince Gill, LeAnn Rimes,etc.)
• Being able to read a lot, which I LOVE
• Clive Davis Grammy Party (No, I didn’t get to go in..But, they let you hang outside and watch everyone come in, which is really exciting. I was able to meet Jordin Sparks, Scott Borchetta, and Karen from Little Big Town and we saw a ton of other artists come in like Miley, Katy Perry, John Mayer, Ellie Goulding, Sting, Dave Grohl, and many others) 
• Spending Valentine’s Day with my best friend (Watching The Office, eating Chinese food)
• Getting to sing at church for the youth
• Days exploring downtown with one of my best friends!
• Taping of Conan with a big group of friends!
• Helped out in the children’s ministry at church; I was Mary in the skit for Easter!
• A LOT of good music came out this year (Kacey Musgraves, The Band Perry, Katy Perry, Keith Urban, LeAnn Rimes, etc)
• Catalyst Convention with Febe (and we got to see KID PRESIDENT AND RAINN WILSON…AHHH! Everyone was laughing at how much I was screaming hahahaha) I was also able to meet Caitlyn Crosby, creator of The Giving Keys and talked with her for a few minutes about the organization, which I loved. And I really started to understand the concept of what it means to be a leader. 
• Finally got to bowl at Pinz in LA! So fun!
• Went to Griffith Park at night  So beautiful!
• Went to Nashville (Met Kacey Musgraves, Chuck Wicks, Kellie Pickler and Two Story Road; Jason Aldean walked by me on the street; went to Carrie Underwood’s #1 party for Two Black Cadillacs, which fans are never really invited to; went to Hunter Hayes’ listening party, finally tried Frothy Monkey, and went to three Opry shows!!!!!)
• My cousin and one of my really good friends got married this year!!!
• I baked a lot more than I ever have before…
• Toured WB studios
• Random trip to Santa Barbara with family friends
• Random trip to the beach to celebrate my parents’ anniversary and got to hang out with my cousin for a bit.
• Rewatch of Glee, although it will never not break my heart with Cory Monteith passing away this year :((( 
• Taylor Swift’s concert from the pit (!!!!!) (although, my mom passed out…So, that wasn’t so fun)
• NSYNC REUNION ON THE VMA’s!!!!!!!!
• Trip to Bass Lake with family friends, and I drove a jet ski for the very first time! We bbq’d, made s’mores, and I spent a lot of time outside on the deck, which was perfect..I really am more of an outdoorsy girl.
• I got to see the Friends fountain at the Warner Brothers Ranch lot, even though it’s closed to the public!
• Went to the Hollywood Bowl for the first time ever to see Keith Urban, Dustin Lynch and Little Big Town
• Went to the beach and spent the weekend with family friends, my aunt, uncle and cousin.
• THE DODGERS WERE SO CLOSE TO THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!
• Went to Disneyland with one of my best friends for her 21st birthday, and we had the time of our lives!
• Got really crafty for the holiday season (decorating the tables, making pinecones, baking)
• I started getting back into making and editing videos, which is one of my hobbies that I had kind of neglected for awhile
• I made time for more writing and being creative, and some blog reading and YouTubing…That inspires me!

And then there were some of those tough moments that I had to work through:

• Starting at a new school and realizing that things are very different at a university than at a community college, which took major adjusting. It was kind of miserable for a little while. More work, different people, and a much bigger campus.
• A lot of sleepless nights during the summer; driving myself crazy thinking (and worrying about the future)
• Comparing myself to others; the path they’re taking, the way they write, the experiences they’ve had…I just need to focus on what I’m doing and who I am. God has a different plan for everyone. We don’t need to be like everyone else. We each have a unique story to tell.
• Getting my license was terrifying! I’m not a big fan of driving, which is why I’ve waited SO long to get it, so having to take the test where someone is critiquing my every move was one of my greatest fears, but I passed and made it out alive 
• Doubt, uncertainty, fear, depression, etc. were all things that I had to shake off…Ain’t nobody got time for that! It was quite a process.

So, it was quite a year with moments I will never forget, and even though I am TOTALLY looking forward to 2014, I’m sad to see this chapter close. I feel like I’ve gotten to know myself better than I ever have before and I think that’s important for moving forward and seeing what else God has up His sleeve. And…Thank you to everyone who made this such a great year, whether it was a tweet or simply taking a picture with me (and you’re someone I’ve admired on TV for quite some time), giving me advice, laughing until we cried, crying because our hearts were broken, taking road trips together, watching marathons of our favorite shows, getting to know one another at school or church, giving me feedback on my writing, or maybe it was just a “like” on Instagram or Facebook. However our paths have crossed, I’m thankful for that memory, whether it left a scar or changed me for the better.

That’s all for now,

Shelby