Tuesday

This morning, I woke up a lot earlier than I usually do...but not on purpose. My mind was filled with all kinds of thoughts and worries about personal stuff and the beginning of the semester starting today. I felt restless ; so instead of trying to go back to sleep like I really wanted to, I pulled out my devotional book and prayed. And what do you know? The devotion was on "fear." It helped a lot! God's gonna get me through all of it, I just have to keep trusting Him. I know I sound like a broken record, but it's just something that I really need to let sink in.

Pretty soon, it was time to start getting ready to head to school, which I was really not looking forward to. I go to school in a small town, about 45 minutes away from where I live. It's an interesting town, full of really interesting people. It's kind of like Stars Hollow or Tree Hill just not as pretty as either. And since I STILL don't have my license, my mom has to drive me. Pretty lame, right? It's a good thing we're close :)
My first class was geography, which was not as fascinating as I'd hoped it would be...but the professor was entertaining. We got out extremely early, so I had about 30 minutes or so to kill. I decided I'd check out the library and write or something. It was pretty busy; there were a lot of kids just hanging out or studying, and I even saw some people I'd had classes with. It's cool that I'm actually starting to get to know more people out there, even if we weren't close. Finally, it was 11 so I decided to head to my next class.

I'm also taking a sociology class, and from the description I wasn't exactly sure how I would feel about it...but it actually sounds like it's going to be really exciting. It's going to challenge us and get us out of our comfort zones, which is something I've been wanting to try. Our professor even showed a clip from The Office, where they're talking about diversity, because that was what we were dealing with today. Our first assignment is to design something that when he looks at it, he sees us or something like that. I really want to create something unique, but I have a feeling this is going to be a trick assignment.
I think it's going to be a great semester, but it's also going to be stressful. I'm still praying I can get into a math class at some point, because I don't want everything to get pushed back even more than it already is. But, I'm trusting God that it will all work out the way it's supposed to. I'm on the wait list, so that's really all I can do right now...wait. I'm already ready for summer though, is that bad? Thank goodness I only have to be on campus twice a week (T/TR).
This afternoon I got a jump start on homework for my online classes (Film and Government), which wasn't too bad when I wasn't getting sidetracked by listening to music, blogging, or Facebooking. I did get some stuff done though. Luckily, I still have a couple more days to get it done.

I know I keep saying things like, "some really incredible things are coming up," but they are. And everyday it feels like I'm finding out about something else. Today, I officially signed on to sing February 1 for our Young Adults gathering at church with Viviyan and another friend of ours. Plus, my friends and I are getting more serious about our talk for that road trip...too bad it's not until April :/. Hopefully it'll be here before we know it.

That's all for now,
Shelby
xoxox

Song Mottos (at the moment)

What If It All Goes Right

By: Melissa Lawson

What if that road that your takings a dead end what if love leaves you all jaded and broken what if that limb breaks that your climbing out on yeah what if it all goes wrong

But what if it all goes right what if it all works out what if the stars light up and your luck rains down what if you chase your dreams and it changes your whole life yeah what if it all goes right

what if that road is a beautiful slow drive what if that love ends up lasting a lifetime what if that limb holds you up tree strong yeah what if nothing goes wrong

what if it all goes right what if it all works out what if the stars light up and your luck rains down what if you chase your dreams and it changes your whole life yeah what if it all goes right

what if you climb to the mountain top and touch the sky grab a cloud as it passes by you might fall you might fall but then again you might not

what if it all goes right what if it all works out what if the stars light up and your luck rains down what if you chase your dreams and it changes your whole life yeah what if it all goes right

yeah what if it all goes right

Here's the video: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBTK9Xc76kQ) 

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Why Not

By: Hilary Duff

You act like you don't know me {You Think you're going nowhere}
When you see me on the street {When you're walking down the street}
Yo're makin' like I turn you off {Acting like you just don't care}
When I know you think I'm sweet {When life could be so sweet}


It don't have to be like that {Why you wanna be like that}
I guess you're insecure {As if there's nothing new}
If you say what's on your mind {You're not fooling no one}
I might answer "Sure" {You're not even fooling you}


So I walk a little slower {So walk a little slower}
And I try to catch your eye {And open up your eyes}
Sometimes it's so hard to see {Sometimes it's so hard to see}
The good things passing by {The good things passing by}


There may never be a sign
No flashing neon light
Telling you to make your move
Or when the time is right


[Chorus:]
(So) Why not
Take a crazy chance
Why not
Do a crazy dance
If you lose a moment
You might lose a lot
So... why not
Why not


Why not take a crazy chance [X2]


You always dress in yellow
When you want to dress in gold
Instead of listening to your heart
You do just what you're told


You keep waiting where you are
For what you'll never know
Let's just get in to your car
And go, baby go


[Chorus]


Oh... oh
I could be the one for you
Oh... yeah
Maybe yes
Maybe no
Oh... oh
It could be the thing to do
What I'm saying is
You gotta let me know


You'll never get to heaven or even to L.A.
If you don't believe there's a way


Why not
Take a star from the sky
Why not
Spread your wings and fly
It might take a little
And it might take a lot
But... why not
Why not


[Chorus]

Here's the Video: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzbQSoN5sb8)

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One Day You Will

By: Lady Antebellum

You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now

[Chorus]
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
But you don't know it yet

[Chorus]

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

[Chorus]

One day you will
Oh one day you will

Here's the video: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY2Yct8LjOo)

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2012 is the year of going after your dreams; making all those things you've wanted your entire life a reality. And it all sounds good in the beginning (dieting, exercising, and whatever other New Year's resolutions you've made up), because you've made all these wonderful plans. And then reality sets in; you get caught up in life (school, work, friends, family, and the like) and all of a sudden those things take a back burner. I know, because I've done it my entire life. I've wanted things, but have been too scared to go after them for fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of someone seeing me for me and that they might be disappointed with that, fear of failure, or fear of actually being good. I'd make up lame excuses for why I couldn't do something, because I was afraid. 

Not this year, though. No, this year, I'm going to kick those fears to the curb. Are they still there over certain things? Yes. But, instead of focusing on the fear and letting it talk me out of doing something, I'm going to pray about it and watch those fears melt away and become something really incredible. There's greatness inside each and every one of us, we just have to use it. So, yeah, maybe not everything will turn out like you planned...but what if it all goes right? You could be missing out on one unimaginable ride. God has some really great things in store, I know that in my gut and my heart. And sometimes it's really hard to keep holding onto something that you have no idea whether it's ever going to happen, and you want to give up. But, instead you fight and pray harder to remind yourself that better things are in store.


That's all for now,
Shelby
xoxox

"Just another manic Monday...I wish it was Sunday, that's my fun day. When I don't have to run day...just another manic Monday!"

Yesterday felt like a typical Monday. It was just a really weird day in general, I guess. I wasn't in the greatest of moods, and was just having one of those days for no reason at all. I did go bike riding for a bit, worked on some government homework, and hung out. I guess it's just getting the starting school blues again. I'm just feeling a little discouraged at where I'm at right now, and not exactly sure where I'm going or when things are going to start happening.

Yesterday afternoon, I also bought this app (PicFrame), and it's probably one of the coolest things ever! So I made these collages, and started messing around with editing a few pictures!

Eventually I was able to snap out of it, and Bible study definitely helped. To be able to get together with all of my friends, where we can pray for each other and talk about how we're doing? There's nothing better than that. There are so many exciting things coming up for our "Young Adults" team this year and I can't wait. We're going to be having a lot of get togethers and some of us might do something like a star gazing party, which would just be one of the most fun things to do. I've always wanted to do something like that and everyone last night was all for it...so we shall see :) After Bible study ended, the girls and I ended up having a great heart to heart, as we always do. They're some of the coolest people I know, can pick me up when I'm down, and give some of the best advice! I love them! And we're in the process of planning a trip to this Catalyst conference in Irvine and a weekend trip to San Diego. AHHHHH! 

I found this picture on a friend's Facebook, and it pretty much summed up exactly what we'd been talking about. It's so true; no matter how discouraging it might be...God has someone planned out for each of us, it just happens in God's timing. And another thing is...PATIENCE. I have to keep reminding myself about that one ;).

That's all for now,

Shelby

xoxox

"In God's Time"

In God's time
A million years might only be a single day
And everything He does gets done His own way
In God's time

And in God's time
You'll find that certain someone you've been praying for
And they'll be everything you dreamed of and a little more
In God's time

Oh, but no one knows
Not you or me
It might be tomorrow or it might never be
Oh, but don't lose faith
Put it in His hands
'Cause it might be that He might have a bigger plan
Than you had in mind
Miracles happen
In God's time

And in God's time
You'll finally get the chance to hold your baby girl
And all the sudden everything'll make sense in this crazy world
In God's time

Oh, but no one knows
Not you or me
It might be tomorrow or it might never be
Oh, but don't lose faith
Put it in His hands
'Cause it might be that He might have a bigger plan
Than you had in mind
Miracles happen
In God's time

And In God's time
You go to sleep and wake up with wings and learn to fly
And you finally meet your loved ones on the other side
In God's time

______________________________________________________________________________

It’s really hard to be patient…we’re a generation that want things right now, or at least I know I do. I want things to go my way and happen exactly like I think they should, and if not…I’m unhappy. But, I’m finding that when you completely trust God with your entire heart, dreams change and priorities shift…and you know what? You’ll feel okay with that. In fact, you’ll feel better than okay, because you’ll know that God has your best interests at heart. He knows your desires and He knows what you need and He knows WHEN you need them. Until then, you should just focus on getting to know Him more and work on trusting in Him. That’s exactly what I’m doing at the moment. 

There’s something that I really want, but God has been teaching me so much about patience. And this time I really feel like I am, and know that no matter what happens in the future or what the outcome of this situation is…God has a plan with it and He has my back. When fears or negative thoughts come to my mind, I just have to pray and remind myself that God is in control of the situation, and I’m going to come out at the end of the tunnel with so much more perspective and be so much stronger because of it.

In the meantime, no stressing and worrying for me…I’m giving it up to God and knowing that when the time is right I will get the assurance I need and it will be LOUD AND CLEAR. Tonight, I got a little closer to it in a couple different ways. Trusting God pays off let me tell you. Everything really does happen in God’s time. 

My Birthday Weekend

Friday, I turned 20 years old. I'm still in shock about that, but it's finally starting to hit me...and it's a really cool feeling. To celebrate, I went to breakfast with my mom and we saw Joyful Noise, which was a pretty good movie. There were some parts I wasn't crazy about it, but I liked the overall message. We came home and relaxed for the afternoon, and got all dressed up for dinner with my family that night. It was so good getting to spend the day with all of my loved ones :) After, my aunts and uncle came back to our house for cake and ice cream for a bit. Then, I opened my gifts from my parents. I got some perfume (Hot Couture), which I believe is what Taylor Swift wore at one time and it smells amazing!

Yesterday (Saturday) I spent most of the afternoon with my best friend, because it was pretty much our last day together. We grabbed In-N-Out, watched While You Were Sleeping, and got something at Starbucks. We also took crazy pictures and made a couple random videos. That was awesome! And finally it was time to say goodbye :*(...but soon it shall be May and she'll be home once again! YAY!

Last night, I went out to dinner at PF Changs with the girls from church. We had so much fun, as always, and so many inside jokes were made, like: "Is it heated?" "Yes, it's a hot tub!" or telling the waiter, "It's Shelby's birthday.... The one at the end," because the waiter has no idea who I am! hahaha. Most likely, no one else will understand the humor, and that's okay. We got some yogurt at Yogurtland after dinner, then headed back to Hillary's house where we dipped our feet in the hot tub and had a great heart to heart. We talked for a couple hours about life and the things we're looking forward to this year! Good things are definitely in store. I am so grateful for them.

From the devotion book Viviyan got me!! LOVE it. 

Today (Sunday) was just amazing. I had to wake up around 6:30, after going to bed close to 2. It was really hard pulling myself out of bed, but I woke up with no problem. I got my usual Starbucks and made it to church for sound check. I had so much fun singing on the worship team and hanging out with everyone backstage...so many laughs! Lol. The sermon today was amazing too. This is OUR year; don't let the enemy, fear, or negative thoughts creep in and try to take away what incredible plans God has for us. It's time to keep going after those dreams that you've put on hold...it's our time to shine. 2012 is going to be the best year of most of our lives...a lot of defining moments are taking place right at this second!

Sunrise!  

Bracelet Mandy got me! :D Super cute! 

Taylor Swift cards Mandy got me!!! 

I spent most of the afternoon not feeling so well and trying to take a nap, but it didn't quite work out...and watching the Golden Globes didn't help. They were extremely boring this year; I was disappointed. Hopefully the Oscars will be more exciting. *Fingers crossed*

That's all for now,
Shelby
xoxox

He's Just Not That Into You Quote

"Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the one exception to the rule. But, sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn to read the signs. How to tell the ones who want us from the ones that don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe...it's you on your own, picking up the pieces, and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is ...just...moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken hearts, the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."

My Motto..pretty much always!

'Speak now or forever hold your peace', the words said by preachers at the end of wedding ceremonies all over the world, right before the vows. It's a last chance for protest, a moment that makes everyone's heart race, and a moment I've always been strangely fascinated by. So many fantasize about bursting into a church, saying what they'd kept inside for years like in the movies. In real life, it rarely happens.

Real life is a funny thing, you know. In real life, saying the right thing at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial, in fact, that most of us start to hesitate, for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But lately what I've began to fear more than that is letting the moment pass without saying anything.

I think most of us fear reaching the end of our life, and looking back regretting the moments we didn't speak up. When we didn't say 'I love you'. When we should've said 'I'm sorry'. When we didn't stand up for ourselves or someone who needed help.

These songs are made up of words I didn't say when the moment was right is front of me. These songs are open letters. Each is written with a specific person in mind, telling them what I meant to tell them in person. To the beautiful boy whose heart I broke in December. To my first love who I never thought would be my first heartbreak. To my band. To a mean man I used to be afraid of. To someone who made my world very dark for a while. To a girl who stole something of mine. To someone I forgive for what he said in front of the whole world.

Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you use to intentionally hurt someone.

What you say might be too much for some people. Maybe it will come out all wrong and you'll stutter and you'll walk away embarrased, wincing as you play it all back in your head. But I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest.

So say it to them. Or say it to yourself in the mirror. Say it in a letter you'll never send or in a book millions might read someday. I think you deserve to look back on your life without a chorus of resounding voices saying 'I could've, but it's too late now.'

There is a time for silence. There is a time waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you'll know it.

I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now

Love,
Taylor